Forest of Peppermint and Thyme
by Feel Free To Improvise
Summary: What happens when Naruto takes on a genin team and suddenly Itachi is back in the village? Then the rest of the Akatsuki follow lead? Crack Fic. Biting, swearing, and Hanabi on drugs.
1. Jolly

**Author**: Feel Free To Improvise  
**Summary**: A 25 year old ANBU Naruto Uzumaki takes on a team of Genin at the order of Tsunade.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Naruto, or Itachi, or even anything remotely sharp and pointy, because people don't seem to trust me with anything even remotely sharp whilst I'm around other people... Why you ask? I don't know, ask my imaginary friend Sir Stabsalot. Hell, I don't even own Sir Stabsalot, he owns me.

_**But I do have good news. I just saved a load of money on a car insurance by switching to Geico. Bad news is, I don't even own that saying...**_

_**BREAK MY HEART MORE WHY DON'T YOU? *Cries* AND I DON'T EVEN OWN A CAR**_

_**Secondary good news, I do own Ai Rin and Yuu Shou.**_

†††††

**U**zumaki stood in front of his new team, Tsunade had wanted him to take on a team for some odd reason, despite his rank as ANBU Captain. He arches an elegant eyebrow at his new team, suddenly reminded of the old Team Seven as they bickered back and forth.

"Alright you pathetic little Genin, quiet down or ill force you to quiet down myself, and trust me, you don't want me to do that." Naruto said in a loud voice that demanded obedience, one thing he hated was when people underneath his rank disobeyed his orders, or disrespected him.

"Shut up Woman! We aren't finished yet!" Screamed the girl with the long black hair... Apparently they did not sense his Aura which basically screamed 'OBEY ME OR SUFFER MY DEMONIC WRATH'

And so what if he looked like a girl! They're just jealous because he was more beautiful.

He did what any normal, pissed off at that, ANBU Captain would do...

"SHUT UP BEFORE I (Sensor) KILL YOU THREE, YOU (Sensor) (Sensor) (Sensor) (Sensor) (Sensor) I'LL SHOVE A CHAINSAW UP YOUR (Sensor) (Sensor) (Sensor) (Sensor) THEN I'LL (Sensor) (Sensor) (Sensor) (Sensor) WITH A CAT AND I'LL (Sensor) (Sensor) (Sensor) (Sensor) (Sensor) STRAIGHT UP YOUR (Sensor) (Sensor) (Sensor) (Sensor) (Sensor) AND DOWN YOUR (Sensor) (Sensor) (Sensor) (Sensor) TWIST IT AROUND A BIT AND (Sensor) (Sensor) (Sensor) (Sensor) (Sensor) THEN (Sensor) (Sensor) (Sensor) FOLLOWED BY (Sensor) (Sensor) (Sensor) DO YOU SOLDIER?"

Their was dead silence, their little eyes filled with terror and disgust.

"I ASKED YOU IF YOU HEARD ME, SOLDIER"

They shrieked out a 'yes sir' before cowering backwards.

"Now... I want you to tell me your Names, Likes, Dislikes, Favorite color, Favorite Animal and Favorite Food." Naruto stated with a grin on his face, not that they could see since he was wearing his ANBU Mask still. "Starting with the black haired girl"

"Umm... Why don't you go first, Sensei? We hardly know anything about you after all" Said the girl with the black hair, clearly not getting what she was supposed to do...

"Well... My name is Uzumaki Naruto, I like torturing people..." They blunk "... I dislike.. No hate, arrogant people who think they are better, when I'm obvious the best of the best, and way better than everybody and everything to ever exist..." The two boys on the team glanced at each other with a confused look, while the girl listened on cluelessly "... My favorite color is Orange and also the color black. My favorite animal is the Fox and the Weasel. My favorite food is Ramen. Now. Black haired girl go before I lose my patience."

"Feh... My name is Hyuuga Hanabi, I like..." She glanced at her male black haired team mate, making Naruto roll his yes "... I dislike..." She glanced at her red haired team mate "... And Perverts! My favorite color is pink, my favorite animal is ummm... the bunny, my favorite food is... Ummm... I don't know..." Hanabi said

"Well.. Wasn't that interesting" Naruto said sarcastically "Black haired boy next."

"Hn... My name Shou Yuu, I like quietness, night time, and reading, I dislike fangirls, My favorite color is Navy blue, my favorite animal is the Jackal, my favorite food is Sushi" said Yuu, he had shoulder black hair and he was wearing a navy t-shirt with blue jeans, his Forehead-Protector was tied around his right arm and his eyes were an emerald green. (Anything else you can think of yourself)

"Good, and last but not least, the red-headed boy" Naruto said, inwardly he was thinking '_God, when will this end?'_

"Well... My name is Rin Ai... umm... I like nature and animals, reading, night time, quietness and the moon, I dislike Yuu! My favorite color is Lavender, my favorite animal is the weasel as well, and my favorite food is Sushi" Ai said while twiddling his thumbs randomly with a stupid grin on his face, he was wearing blue jeans with a black netted shirt with nothing under it, he had long red hair reaching his lower waist and his forehead-protector around his neck, he had black eyes with purple around the pupil (Anything else you can think of yourself)

"Well... You three are an interesting bunch, normally I would give you a test to see if you could work good as a team... But I'm too lazy to do that, so during your missions I will force you to work as team mates, and if you don't... Well... You wont be able to walk for a while... But I will test your skills in tracking and stealth tomorrow morning at 5." Naruto stated in an innocent voice, but the three Genin could almost see the sarcasm and malice directed towards them.

"But for now, you three will go home and get some rest... or do whatever the hell kids your age do. I honestly don't give a ( (Sensor) (Sensor) what you do with your (Sensor) spare time, but you better not bother me" Naruto told them as he started walking away, leaving his team to stare after then, trying to collect their thoughts.

He didn't get far before they started bickering back and forth again

'_Hmmm..._' Naruto thought to himself as he walked to his home '_I wonder if Tsunade is in right mind when she sent me these three... God knows Hinata and Neji are my best friends, and Hanabi hates Hinata and Neji_.'

'**I have no doubt in our mind that, that woman was probably drunk when she gave us a team, we are not ****Jonin, we are an ANBU captain, but... You need this experience, and you can show Sakura how much better your team is then hers**' Kyuubi told him with a smug grin

'_Yes... But Sakura isn't any challenge, and we don't even speak to each other anymore after Tsunade disowned her as an apprentice for blaming us for Sasuke running away,'_ Naruto spoke back to his fox companion

'**That pink-haired banshee holds a grudge against us for something that isn't even our fault, it ****was her fault she called us a monster in front of your sister Tsunade's face, and told us she wanted you to have left the village instead**' Kyuubi spoke back to him

'_Stupid Sasuke, always ruined everything, he was praised by this village and he left to go to Orochimaru for power, like a fat-kid drawn to a Twinkie_' Naruto stated, mainly to himself

Kyuubi suddenly had the mental Image of Chouji chasing a Twinkie tied to a string...

Naruto sighed and opened the door to his new apartment, his old one was... set on fire by a group of villagers, but they had been taken care of.

His new apartment was rather large, two rooms, a kitchen, a bathroom, as well as the living room, nobody else lived with him except his pet dog that Kiba had given to him for his birthday last year... He still didn't know how they all found out about his birthday, it was kept a secret because of the festival.

Stepping in he took of his sandals and smiled, the walls were painted a light blue and the carpet was a navy blue, there wasn't much in his living room except a couch, the bedrooms were bare minus the beds, and kitchen had what it needed, as well as the bathroom, a few paintings on the wall, but otherwise it was pretty much plain. Just how he liked it.

Naruto stared into the mirror across the living room, it was set up in front of his couch where a normal person would have a Television

He sat down on the couch and gazed within the mirror, taking off his ANBU Mask

Over the years a lot of things had changed, he fully merged with Kyuubi a few years back, his hair was a copper-golden blonde color that reached a little passed his butt, he always kept it tied up in a high pony tail, his eyes became more fox-like, but stayed their enchanting pale blue, but gained poisonous-like green ring around the pupil, he was about 5'11", his body petite and feminine, thought not too girlie, and his flesh held a pale tan to it.

His whisker darkened to a void like pitch black, faintly outlined with a unnoticeable green, like the ring in his eyes. A while ago he and Kyuubi had merged together, turning him into a fox demon.

Kyuubi sighed within his mind '**A Golden-Tailed Kitsune at that. Mischievous little pranksters who enjoy scaring and humiliating other people. They have the power to raise the dead for an extended amount time, they are also the hardest to kill of all the demons because of their healing, quick getaways, stealth, and abilities. They specialize in Necromancy and assassinations in the demonic world they're almost never seen and borderline extinct. You also have power over nature and fire, from me**.' Kyuubi explained in a 'know it all' voice

Naruto just rolled his eyes. Kyuubi thought he knew it all.

'**I heard that Kit'** Kyuubi snarled playfully

'_Oh no, the big, bad, nine-tails is going to kill me_!' Naruto said sarcastically

'**One day kit... One day...**' Kyuubi said back

Naruto was about to retaliate verbally, but his door was slammed open.

Naruto shrieked and fell to the floor, quickly looking towards who 'opened' his door

Shikamaru stood at the door with his arms crossed, he was about to speak before he was interrupted

"DON'T YOU KNOW HOW TO KNOCK?" Naruto yelled, pointing evilly at Shikamaru

"I did, for a half an hour at that before I got fed up with waiting and went to open the door, only to find out that the door was locked so I had to fetch Kiba..." A 'Yo' was heard from the background "... to open the door for me, because It would have been too troublesome to open it myself"

"WHAT?" Kiba yelled "YOU TOLD ME NARUTO WAS TRAPPED IN HIS HOUSE WITH EVIL GHOSTS TRYING TO DEVOUR HIS SOUL!"

Naruto blinked

Shikamaru grinned

Kiba glowered

"Anyways... The reason I'm here is to tell you that Tsunade wanted to s-!" just then Shikamaru was tackled by a large furry thing that came running from Naruto's bedroom

Kiba tilted his head to the side and grinned, Naruto did the same thing

"AHH GET IT OFF!" Shikamaru yelled as the large fluffy thing started licking his face

Naruto whistled and the fluffy thing came to him

Kiba whistled "He's getting bigger each time I see him" talking about the dog he got Naruto for his birthday. The dog was unique in many ways, it was specially shipped from Germany, a non-Shinobi land. They called it a 'German Shepherd' It was a rather large dog, still growing at that

"Yeah, I've been feeding Oto-Kage that Chakra enhanced special dog food you gave me for him. He eats a lot. That and Kyuubi suggested I mix our Chakra with his to give him an extended life like ours" Naruto stated, the dog was about 6'4" when standing on his back paws, petite looking, yet masculine, with black and tan fur, more black, it's eyes were a chocolate brown. And like he said before, Oto was still growing.

"Man, you gotta let me borrow some of your Chakra for Akamaru sometime" Kiba joked, with a grin, Naruto grinned as well

Shikamaru stood up and cleared his throat, catching Naruto's attention

"As I was saying... Tsunade wants to see you in her office now, if you will excuse me, I have a date" Shikamaru stated as he walked away, muttering 'Troublesome' under his breath

"Well, I gotta go to, my sister Hana wanted help around the Veterinary Clinic, then me and Hinata are going out to eat tonight."

"Alright, see you later" Naruto waved to Akamaru and Kiba, Oto-Kage barked a short 'bye'

"You wanna come with me to see granny Tsunade?" He asked his dog, the dog barked and wagged his tail.

"Well, then let's go you overgrown flea-bag" Naruto grinned mockingly when Oto growled at him as they walked out the door, almost forgetting to shut the door behind them.


	2. Of demons and Fluffy godzillas

**Disclaimer**: Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I don't own Naruto, and neither do you.

**N**aruto walked down the streets of Konoha with his faithful companion Oto, whispers of him were thrown back and forth 'Demon' 'Monster' 'Bastard child' even 'Traitor' because he failed bring back their precious _Sasuke-kun_. He hated leaving his apartment

Naruto made a mental note to ask Kakashi how to do that nifty teleportation Technique

Oto at his side started growing, the black fur on his back spiking up, looking like many black needles, tipped with tan. The villagers didn't like Oto either, they called him 'The demons mutt'

Oto didn't take kindly to people who talked behind his back, or his masters.

'_Massssssster...'_ Oto hissed out, much like a snake would, his chocolate eyes turning darker as he narrowed them, a few villagers caught the look and diverted their eyes in fear of being bitten, or worse.

"Yes, Oto?" Naruto spoke back to the dog, the staring villagers giving him an awkward look

'_Why do you let the humanssss talk about you like that? It issss degrading and disssssressssspectful'_

"They will get what's coming, Oto, in this world, or the next"

'**I agree with the puppy, kit, all three of us are not human, and thus need to be treated with respect as demons, even if the dog is a mare 'one-tailed' half-demon'**

'_PUPPY? I AM NO PUPPY YOU SSSSSNIVELING LITTLE FOX' _Oto roared back at the disrespectful fox.

"Don't pick fights with each other you two" Naruto whispered lowly, but they both heard him

Walking into the Hokage tower and to Tsunade's office, he was about to open the door when an ANBU stopped him

"Fox!" The ANBU stated happily

"Yes, Panda?" Naruto said back in a light voice, he had few friends in the village, but the ANBU had always respected him, they knew his hardship and what he went threw, they could trust him with their lives, and he could always trust them with his.

"Ahh, we have missed you, Tsunade-Sama had said you would not be joining the ANBU in any missions for a while" The ANBU Panda stated, he reached down and patted Oto's large head, pulling a dog-treat out from nowhere and giving it to the large shepherd

Naruto grinned "Tsunade has stuck me with a Genin team, I personally think she was drunk when she did so..."

"Ahh, I wish you luck with the little brats" Panda said before moving and opening the doors to Tsunade's office

"Ill be needing it" Naruto said a he walked into the office, Oto following behind him

'_I like that human'_ Oto said happily, thinking about all the treats the human had given him

'**Of course you do you stupid dog, he gives you free food'**

'_Why don't you keep your mouth ssssshut you sssstupid good for nothing foressst dweller?'_ Oto snapped back angrily

'**You first, sewer rat'**

'_How dare you!'_

'**No! HOW DARE YOU!'**

"Both of you shut up" Naruto snapped at both of them

'**Hrmph/**_Hrmph'_

Tsunade cleared her throat and stared at Naruto "Are you quite done arguing with your dog and fox?" Tsunade asked, her eyebrow twitching in annoyance

"Hm? Did you say something?" Naruto asked as he listened to Kyuubi complain about the dog starting the argument, and Oto retaliating by insulting the fox

CRASH

"OW!" "ROOF!"

Both Oto and Naruto were sprawled out on the ground with anime tears falling from their eyes

"Did you have to hit so hard?" Naruto asked Tsunade as he rubbed his head

"It was necessary" Tsunade stated smugly

'_You demonic bitch from hell!'_ Oto yelled at Tsunade, Naruto snickered

"What did he just say!?!" Tsunade yelled. Not understanding what the dog said, but knew it was about her because of Naruto's laugh

Naruto was about to reply but was interrupted

"Can we get down to business?" a deep sensual voice echoed through the room, Naruto looked over towards the voice and noticed a man in a black cloak standing near Tsunade's desk. Why Naruto didn't notice him before was unknown to him, he decided to ignore the man.

Tsunade walked back to her desk and sat down

"Ahh yes, Naruto the reason I called you here was--" Tsunade was interrupted

"To tell me WHY the HELL you stuck me with a Genin team?" Naruto finished with a snarl

"I had a bit much to drink, anyways..." She was about to tell him why he was here again, but was interrupted by a loud bark/roar

'_SSSHUT UP YOU SSSTUPID FOX, I AM NOT FLUFFY YOU (Sensor) (Sensor) (Sensor) (Sensor)!'_ Oto roared at the fox.

Tsunade clenched her jaw together tightly, trying to keep herself from hurting the dog

'**HA! YOU'RE SO FLUFFY AND FAT THAT WHEN YOU WERE WALKING DOWN THE STREET, SOMEBODY MISTOOK YOU AS A FLUFFY GODZILLA!'** Apparently Kyuubi didn't when to stop

'_MY MOTHERS NAME WAS GODZILLA YOU (Sensor) (Sensor)!'_

'**HAHAHA WHAT KIND OF STUPID NAME IS THAT?'**

'_YEAH WELL! YO MAMA SSSO FAT, SSSHE FILLSSS UP THE TUB, THEN SSSHE TURNSSS ON THE WATER!'_

All was silent

Kyuubi started laughing

'**HAHAHA! THAT WAS SO BRILLIANT I'M NOT EVEN MAD!'**

'_Why thank you'_

Naruto rubbed his forehead trying to drive away the splitting headache he now had

"Are you two done arguing?" Naruto snarled at them

'**Yes/**_Of courssse'_

"Good, now Tsunade, why have you called me here?"

"Hmm... I forgot..."

Naruto sweatdropped

"Ohh! Now I remember!"

Naruto sighed

"It's about Itachi"

Naruto snapped into attention "What about him?" Naruto asked, his green and blue eyes glowing with curiosity

"Well... You see... Itachi wasn't the one who slaughtered the Uchiha Clan"

Naruto narrowed his eyes "Are you currently drunk?" he asked, making Tsunade whack him on the head

Naruto winched, rubbing his abused skull, running his fingers through his coppery golden hair

"As I was saying... Itachi came to me a few days ago and told me what happened, apparently, Orochimaru took possession of his body"

"Bullshit!" Naruto yelled again "What proof does he have?"

"I had three Yamanaka's shift threw his memories, Including your Ino friend, they all saw what happened and know that he is telling the truth"

Naruto was silent

"And... He has been reinstated as a Konoha civilian until he is trusted fully, then he will gain his rank as ANBU back"

Naruto clenched his jaw together tightly, his eyes flashing with anger.

'_Hasss that bitch forgotten how many timesss that human hasss tried to kill you? Now ssshe'sss letting him in thisss village!?'_

"Apparently so." Naruto muttered back to Oto, Tsunade ignored him, the cloaked figure next to her shifted a bit

"And last but not least... Itachi will need a place to stay in... He also needs somebody watching him 24/7 until he is FULLY trusted"

Naruto narrowed his eyes suspiciously

"And why are you telling me this?" Naruto asked

"Well..." Tsunade chewed on her bottom lip

"Well...?" Naruto waited for her reply

"Erm... he will be staying with you" Tsunade said, putting her fingers up in a cross position, as if trying to ward off evil spirits...

Naruto twitches, and Oto growled

'_ARE YOU MAD?'_ Oto yelled, briefly forgetting that she could not understand him. But Naruto voiced his words with his own

"ARE YOU MAD?" Naruto yelled at her

"Please Naruto!" Tsunade begged

"No!"

"Ill take you out for ramen!"

"No!"

"Ill BUY you a WHOLE years worth of ramen!"

"NO!"

"Ill teach you a new technique!"

Naruto was silent

'_Damnit, sssay no!'_

"Uhh... No!"

"Ill...Ill... Get on my knees and beg!"

'_Hmmm... tempting, tempting...' _Oto said to him

"No!"

'_Party pooper!'_

"PLEASEEEEE NARUTO!"

"PLEASEEEEEEEEE"

"NO!"

"PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESE!!!"

"NO"

"PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"NO, NO, NO, NO, NO"

"PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, PLEASEEEE, PLEASEEEEE, PLEASEEEEEEEEE!"

"FINE!"

"P--- Huh?"

"I SAID FINE, ALRIGHT?"

"Good!" Tsunade clapped her heads together "You can take your cloak off now, Itachi" She told the cloaked figure next to her

Itachi took off his cloak and stared blankly at Naruto

Naruto glared

All was silent

'_Can we go home now?'_ Oto asked with a bored voice

'**Really, I'm hungry'**

'_So am I'_

"Likewise" Naruto muttered, Itachi tilted his head to the side

"You two and dog are dismissed" Tsunade stated "Itachi's stuff was already brought to your apartment by a team of Genin, and Naruto... I believe you are meeting your new team tomorrow, so you will be bringing Itachi along with you"

Naruto growled as well as Oto

"Fine." Naruto said as he started walking out the door to his apartment.

Oto and Itachi swiftly followed

_**Hmmm... Oooohkaaaay... Chapter two posted up, hope you like.**_

As you can see, Oto and Kyuubi despise each other and agree on very few things, they are also highly immature.


	3. TELL THE TRUTH DOC AM I GOING TO LIVE?

**Disclaimer**: ... Oh woe is me, for I do not own thee...

'_The smell of sulfur and copper penetrated threw the air, a sea of rotten corpses could be seen threw-out fire country_

_a large fox with forest green fur stood above an old frightened woman, the foxes large canines dripping with acid onto the woman, the woman let out a small whine, her dull gray eyes clouding with tears_

"_You monster... How could you? You killed them... All of them..."_

"_You reap what you sow." The overly large fox stated as it tore forward, opening it's jaw up wide ready to dev--'_

Naruto woke with a gasp, looking around his room, trying to clear his head of the dream he just had. Was that dream bound to be his future? To slaughter everybody within Fire country?

Naruto shuttered and shook his head, he looked at the clock and sighed '1:10' the clock read, he doubted he would be getting to sleep anytime soon.

Sitting up and sliding out from under his silky sheets he made sure not to wake his loyal companion, Oto. Naruto walked across the room and sighed again, opening the door up a crack and sliding threw it, then closing it behind him

He walked threw the hall and yawned, stopping before the second room's door, spotting a dim light under the door, he cracked the door open and peaked inside.

Across the room, sleeping upon the bed was Itachi, looking around, Naruto spotted a lit candle, melted down to the plate it stood upon, he slowly and stealthily slipped into the room, walking over to the candle he blew it out, then glanced over to Itachi, due to his demonic blood he could see well in the pitch blackness.

A small smirk formed upon Naruto's face 'So easy to kill right now...' he thought as he quietly stalked towards the bed Itachi slept upon

Naruto narrowed his eyes and lifted his long menacing talons, they seemingly shimmered in the non-existent light... 'All I would have to do it bring them down down along his throat... Then he will be no problem to anybody in this village... and no problems to me...'

Naruto let out a low husky growl, as he ran his finger down Itachi's cheek. His growl soon turning into a snarl, making Itachi shift and let out a small moan "Nar..." Itachi muttered in his sleep before shifting once more and sighing.

Naruto's eyes hardened slightly and he put his hand by his side before swiftly leaving the room, without looking back, if he had been paying attention when he left, he would have noticed Itachi shutter in his sleep, letting out another small moan...

Walking down the hallway Naruto muttered darkly to himself and walked back into his room, shutting the door behind him softly.

-

-

-

Itachi yawned as he opened his eyes, sliding out of bed and swiftly walking across the room, he went to grab the door handle but narrowed his eyes when he saw the door open a crack 'I thought I closed the door before going to bed...' Itachi thought to himself but ignored it and stepped out, making sure this time to close the door behind him.

Itachi yawned as he walked into the kitchen... Only to stop dead and blink...

Naruto and Oto each sat on a chair... Eating sushi... at 6 in the morning... Who eats sushi at this time of day!?

Naruto looked up from his sushi, making Oto look up as well.

'_Good morning you mentally challenged ssssstreet rat'_ Oto said to Itachi, Naruto snickered, but Itachi just stared blankly at the 'barking' dog and sat down on the free chair, Naruto slid a plate of Sushi in front of him before going back to his own sushi and ignore them. Itachi picked up a piece of sushi and bit into it absently.

'**Hmmm... Mentally challenged little street rat... Hahaha I like your insults, dog'** Kyuubi stated with a low laugh '**Too bad you forgot he couldn't hear you, you dumbshit'** Kyuubi stated smugly with a grin

'_I knew perfectly well he could not hear me, mongrel'_ Oto growled at the fox

'**Such names you call me... You wound my heart like an arrow shot threw the skull of a puppy'** Kyuubi said back mockingly, giving the dog a mental picture of him with his paw pressed against his heart and a hurt look on his face

'_Why don't you go cry me a river'_

'**Only if you'll slit your throat and taint the river crimson.'**

"Ouch, Harsh" Naruto muttered, Itachi glanced at him with his obsidian eyes, before noticing something for the first time.

"You look different" Itachi stated, looking him over. Naruto held down a blush

"Really... I hadn't noticed..." Naruto told him, his voice oozing with sarcasm

Itachi just narrowed his eyes "When do we meet your team?" He asked, eating his last piece of sushi before stretching and cracking his back.

"Hmmm." Naruto hummed to himself before grinning "I don't remember"

Oto sweatdropped

'_Masssster issss sssso forgetful...'_ Oto muttered to himself

'**You make it sound like he had a bad memory!'**

'_HE DOESSSSS HAVE A BAD MEMORY, THANKS TO YOU'_

'**What did –I- do!?!?'**

Naruto clenched his teeth together "We will be meeting with them at 10"

Itachi shrugged and leaned back in his chair

'_Isssn't that a bit late massster, you were sssupposed to meet them at 5'_

"Of course not, Oto, they will learn the meaning of 'Patience'" Naruto said to Oto, ignoring Itachi's curious look

'**You never did as a child, you always yelled at your teacher for being late'**

'_Nobody wassss talking to you, idjit'_ Oto snarled at the fox

'**And nobody was talking to YOU when I said that, Jezebel'**

'_HOW ARE YOU CALL ME A JEZEBEL'_

Naruto just sighed and looked at the clock, normal teams met at 7, it was 7:30 right now.

"Well. Let us go, will you be staying here Oto?" Naruto told Itachi and asked Oto

'_Yessss masssster, anything to get away from the mentally challenged fox'_

Kyuubi snarled

"Suit yourself" Naruto said, grabbed hold of Itachi's arm, making his stiffen, then teleporting them to the training grounds

Itachi and Naruto appeared in a plum of smoke, standing on a tree branch, going unnoticed by the three Genin.

"WHERE IS HE!" He heard Hanabi yelled furiously, "HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HERE AT 5!"

Ai and Yuu just sighed, then looked at each other and glared

Itachi narrowed his eyes in confusion "I thought we would be meeting them at 10"

"We are" He said back. "Then why are we here right now at 7:41?"

"Patience my 'dear' Itachi. Patience..." Naruto said as he sat down on the branch, Itachi did the same...

-

-

-

"Five hours... FIVE HOURS LATE?" Hanabi yelled to her teammates, but mainly to herself, looking at the clock, it was 10:01

A plum of smoke appeared in front of them... Revealing a grinning Naruto and an unknown male

"YOU'RE LATE!" All three of his students yelled

"Hmm.. Well you see... I was out buying supplies when I walked past a river. Then I saw a fish drowning, so I had to give it CPR, but I didn't know how. So I went to rent Learn CPR In 1 Hour or Less' movie and walk back to my hotel room to watch it. When it was done, I went back to the river to find that the fish was gone! So I had to find and then give it CPR!..." Naruto said with a proud look

Hanabi was about to yell 'liar' but was interrupted

"But that's not all! After saving the fish, who ungratefully jumped back into the river, I came across Itachi here..." Naruto pointed to Itachi "... Watching two rats fight over a piece of cookie. We made some bets on who would win, I said neither would win, and he said the one on the right, I was about to start rooting for the one on the left, until a swarm of cockroaches came and attacked them, then grabbed the cookie, leaving two injured rats behind! So we had to get them medical help at a local hospital. But it didn't matter, because Itachi owed me 100,000 dollars because of our bet! So he gave me my money and I asked him if he wanted to join us in our training, so here we are... Don't know what happened to those rats though." Naruto said, counting the money he won

Itachi stared blankly 'How did he come up with that? We have been sitting in a tree playing Poker...' Itachi thought to himself...

Hanabi batted her eyes at Itachi "Hi, I'm Hanabi, what's your name?" Hanabi asked him with a smile

"Well..." Itachi started... "If you had been paying attention to your teacher, you would know that my name is Itachi, one would think you were def or stupid, possible both" Itachi told her with a blank voice

Naruto, Ai, and Yuu snickered. Hanabi blushed embarrassedly and slightly angrily at the obvious rejection

"So, what are we doing today for training?" Ai asked their new teacher

"We are going to play a game to test your skills"

Hanabi scoffed "How is a game supposed to help us?"

"Well... You see, Hanabi..." Naruto restrained himself from calling her a bitch "... Its not a normal game, it's a game I like to call... Seek and Destroy."

"You have ten seconds to run and hide, if I catch you, I'm taking you down, understood?"

"W...what?" his soon to be dead students asked with a stutter

"10"

"WAIT! YOU CAN'T DO THAT!"

"9"

"Shit" Yuu said as he darted away to hide

"8"

Ai ran away as well, leaving a fear stricken Hanabi behind

"7"

"Umm..."

"6"

Hanabi finally got the message and ran

Naruto stopped counting and counted the rest in his head with a yawn.

"Ready or not, here I come..." Naruto said, walking towards where he smelled them, he chucked to himself, going through a series of unknown hand sign, hissing to himself, his green eyes, bleeding to a sickly purple with red rings. Itachi stared at the unknown hand seal with interest.

"What was that?" Itachi asked, his voice blank, but Naruto could see it in his Aura that he was curious and slightly confused

"A seal that I created a while ago, made for Jinchuriki only, to tap into their demons demonic Chakra and filter it for their own, enabling us to use Techniques that are made for demons only." explained Naruto

"And your eyes?" Ask Itachi

"Demons only." Naruto retorted.

-

-

-

-

It took Naruto 30 minutes to find Ai and Hanabi, now they were hanging upside down from a tree tied by their feet, there mouths taped shut. There clothing where torn and slightly bloody, they were glaring at him.

"Now... Where is Yuu?" Naruto muttered to himself, he just could not find him

Naruto sighed and then grinned

"Looks like Yuu is the winner for today." The moment he said that, Yuu came out and leaned against the tree Hanabi and Ai hung from

"Do I get something?" Yuu asked with a smirk

"Hmmm..." Naruto hummed and pulled a box of pocky from out of nowhere and handed it to Yuu. Itachi started twitching, going unnoticed by everybody.

"Hmmm... I don't like Pocky" Said Yuu, handing the box back to Naruto, Naruto blinked and Itachi looked ready to start hyperventilating.

"Oh... Umm well..." Naruto pulled out 10 bucks and gave it to him

"That's better" Yuu smiled and pocketed the money

Ai and Hanabi glowered... Well... Ai glowered, Hanabi just stared at Yuu with a dreamy expression

"Well, tomorrow at 5, be here at 5in the morning no more no less, we will officially start training and yadda, yadda, yadda. Dismissed" Naruto said as he walked away, followed by the still twitching Itachi

-

-

-

-

Naruto stepped into his and Itachi's apartment and grinned happily "Wasn't that fun!?!?" Naruto asked cheerfully...

Only to be tackled to the ground by Itachi. Itachi pinned Naruto down to the ground, his legs wrapping around his waist, pinning Naruto's hands above his head

"W...what?" Naruto stuttered, trying to push Itachi off of him "G...GET OFF M-ME!" he yelled, a dark blush unwillingly covering his cheeks

"Give it to me" Itachi muttered, leaning his face towards Naruto's face...

-

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_**You reap what you sow: What goes around, comes around**_

_**I hope you enjoyed the new chapter, the more reviews I get, the happier I am, and maybe I'll not hate you.**_


	4. Beloved taco

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Naruto, neither does my imaginary friend Sir Stabsalot and his pet parrot Little Miss Aimitlow

After Naruto dealt with Itachi (How was he supposed to know that, that was Itachi's Pocky?!?!?! It damn well didn't have his NAME on it! Well... It did have an 'I' imprinted in bold bright colors that stood out everywhere... but how was he supposed to know the I stood for Itachi?) they went to bed because it took them the whole day to get through the Pocky argument. This morning he told Itachi (Who was supporting a black eye) to meet him at the training ground. Afterwards he went to see Iruka, who offered him some ramen.

Who was he to refuse ramen?

He also had gotten sidetracked on the way to Iruka's home...

"Hmmm" Naruto hummed to himself looking at Iruka "You remember that time when you kidnapped Moegi in order to see if I were ready for the Chunin exams?"

Iruka stiffened, fear coming to his eyes

"_So, how about we forget about this and go get some ramen?"_

"_Actually I think ill bring you to Ibiki for threatening a fellow Konoha Ninja" Naruto told Iruka, referring to Moegi being threatened and kidnapped. Iruka started sweating_

"_You... wouldn't do that to your dearest sensei, would you, Naruto?!"_

"_Hmm... Yes, yes I would." Before Iruka could speak (Or scream in fear) He was tackled and hog-tied by Naruto, his mouth gagged. Naruto picked the screaming Iruka up and headed off to see Ibiki._

"I still have nightmares..." Iruka said, tears welling up in his milky chocolate eyes.

After a long talk with Iruka, trying to calm him down, Naruto headed off to the trainings grounds where he was supposed to meet Itachi and his little bundles of joy! Naruto coughed and grinned, skipping to the grounds.

At arriving to the grounds he found Itachi, Hanabi, Ai, and Yuu, standing around, Hanabi was clutching Yuu's arm tightly and Ai was facing away from them snarling. Yuu was oblivious because he was staring at Ai's ass

"YOU'RE LATE! AGAIN!" Hanabi screamed at him, making everybody winch

"You see, I was walking to the training grounds when I was suddenly viciously attacked by a newspaper! I was trying to fend it off, but it gave me a paper-cut, so I set it on fire, I had to go to the hospital to get stitches and some painkiller because my paper cut hurt so badly and..." Naruto suddenly paused, he twirled around and rammed his fist into the tree behind him.

"OH NO! I KILLED A TREE!" Naruto yelled, pointing to the tree he just hit, which was now split in half. He sniffled and pointed, looking about ready to cry

There was a silence that echoed threw the field...

"Mua ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!" Naruto suddenly burst out laughing in a malicious maniacal malevolent (MMM) voice "Serves that bastard tree right for saying it's green is more beautiful then my gold! WELL NOW WHAT, TREE? GUESS WHOS IS BETTER NOW!" Naruto yelled at the tree. His students backed away, ready to call the ANBU.

Itachi just chewed on a piece of Pocky. He was an Akatsuki, he'd seen it all from Zetsu.

"Where did you get that?" Hanabi asked curiously.

Itachi slouched down and slowly turned towards Hanabi and growling loudly and evilly at her, his Sharingan blazing dangerously. Hanabi shrieked and ran away

But, long before Hanabi could gets away, Naruto whipped a Kunai towards Hanabi's head, it sliced her cheek and landed right next to her head, she stopped in her tracks and froze like a deer caught in the headlights of a semi-truck, unable to get away because, on one side of the street was a cheetah, on the other side was a lion and behind the deer was a stamped of Elephants speeding towards it... That was one screwed Deer.

"Perfect Aim" Itachi told Naruto with a blank tone as he chewed on his pocky, his Sharingan going dormant to his normal charcoal (I love that word...) eyes

Naruto stared blankly

"What are you talking about? I missed"

Everybody stayed silent. The smell of urine penetrated threw the air and Hanabi fainted... Like a deer who was about to be shot in the skull with a shotgun by a cheetah.

"Umm... okay... WHO WANTS TO PLAY A GAME?" Naruto yelled out happily, clapping his hands together giddily.

Everybody shook their head furiously

"Um... okay... WE MUST GO GET ICE-CREAM, YEAH!"

"Why would we get ice-cream, Sensei?" Ai asked curiously

"Because I'm Naruto, and I said so." Naruto said as he walked away, Itachi followed them with Ai and Yuu dragging Hanabi along behind them.

---

---

Naruto and company sat down eating their ice-cream happily. Hanabi had woken up to the painful feeling of being dragged across the concrete sidewalk.

Naruto giggled and took a large bite out of his ice-cream...

There was a long pause and everybody stared at Naruto. Naruto blinked

"AHH MY BRAIN!" Naruto screamed and clutched his head, falling off his stool and onto the ground.

Itachi sighed and Naruto stood up and sat back down on his stool. Yuu looked at his teammates weirdly. Hanabi (who was staring at her ice-cream, never having it before until now due to her father keeping her away from such things) decided to take a large bite out of it.

They stared

She took another bite.

"Yummy" Hanabi said happily and continued eating her ice-cream

"That's fucking cheap.." Naruto muttered, taking another bite, only to grasp his head in pain. But it was too good to eat slowly.

After they finished eating their ice-cream they headed back to the training grounds. The students stood around in a circle and waited instructions.

"Hum, anyways..." Naruto started "We have a few missions." Naruto told them, pulling a slip of paper from his pocket and read it off as they headed to the mission spots

"_First mission: retrieve the daimyo's wives cat."_

"OH GOD, MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!" Hanabi screamed as she jumped into a lake, throwing to get the cat that was attached to her face off of her

"_Second mission: Feed Oto-Kage" Naruto told them with a happy grin. "Why can't you feed your own dog?" Hanabi asked him, the other's (including Itachi) started at him weirdly_

"OH GOD! IT'S EATING MY HAND!" Hanabi screamed, trying to dislodge her hand from the overgrown shepherds mouth

"Heh, and you asked why I don't feed him myself" Naruto and Kyuubi laughed

"**BITE HER HARDER!"** Kyuubi laughed threw their mental link

"_I'm biting her assss hard assss I can!"_ Oto hissed at him, chomping down harder, the other two teammates tried to pry open the dogs large jaws

"_Third mission: Go shopping for the Akimichi"_

"God, how much can these people eat?" Hanabi asked them, placing the last can on the shelf

"WE NO FAT! CHOUJI MAD NOW!" Chouji Akimichi snarled at Hanabi, picking her up and ready to throw her

"_Fourth Mission: Retrieve the Daimyo's cat" Naruto told them "B...but we just did that!" Hanabi whined. Yuu glared at her "Don't be such a baby"_

Yuu screamed as he tried to pry the cat off his face "IT'S EATING ME ALIVE!"

"HA! WHO'S THE BABY NOW!?" Hanabi laughed at him and pointed, then realized she was laughing at her beloved "Oh god! I didn't mean that!" Hanabi yelled and chased her beloved "COME BACK MY LOVE!" Hanabi chased after Yuu, Yuu ran faster, tearing the cat off his face and throwing it towards Hanabi.

Naruto caught the cat after it missed and started petting it. The cat simply started purring and rubbing it's cheek against Naruto's chest. Ai glared at Hanabi who was treating Yuu's wounds. Yuu was trying to get away

"_Fifth Mission: Buy the Hokage more Alcohol... What the fuck?" Naruto stared at it with a confused expression "This isn't even a mission, it's written in pencil too!" Naruto yelled, then noticed the old Fifth mission was scratched out and rewritten to what it is now. Itachi sighed "Lets just get going"_

"MY BELOVED!" Tsunade yelled and hugged her bottle of alcohol "Oh how I crave your glassy touch!" she told the bottle and pulled off the cap.

Naruto cleared his throat and pointed to his mission sheet

Tsunade glared "Get the fuck out before I smash you"

They didn't need to be told again

_Naruto sighed "Sixth mission: ... What?" Naruto stared blankly at the sheet of paper. Itachi moved next to him and read it off "Sixth Mission: ... Get the Hokage a taco...?" Naruto snarled "THAT'S IT! I Q_UIT!"

Naruto threw the paper onto the ground and started stomping on it "TEAM DISMISSED!"

Naruto walked away and everybody else left... except Itachi...

Itachi picked up the mission paper and read it out loud

"Seventh mission: Get the Hokage a pillow, Eighth mission: Give Hokage a foot massage, Ninth Mission: ... Do all the Hokage's paperwork?" Itachi dropped the paper and decided to follow Naruto home, not even thinking about reading the other missions

About an hour later a team decked out in green and orange stopped near the paper, the team leader picked the sheet of paper up and gasped

"SOMEBODY HAS LOST THEIR YOUTHFUL MISSION SHEET! WE MUST DO IT FOR THEM!" the leader screamed, throwing his fist into the air

"YES! WE MUST!" the mini-leaders yelled and they started screaming about the youthful flames of their great jolly green leader.

From inside the Hokage Tower, Tsunade shivered, a sudden sense of impending doom falling over her like a dark foreboding shadow.


	5. You're not doing it right

"Hey little boy, want some candy?" a silky voice questioned. Naruto glanced at the man and chuckled softly.

"Sorry Sir, not today. I'm in the middle of something," he explained. The man smiled.

"Oh, that's just fine little boy. Come visit me sometime soon," the dark-haired man said. Naruto nodded an affirmative and waved a goodbye at the totally not suspicious old man handing candy out to children.

Just as Naruto was about to step into his home, he suddenly remembered that he had to meet his team. With a devastated sigh he walked to the Hokage tower to retrieve his missions for today, once again passing the old man, who was currently offering candy to some little boy, leading him into an ally way.

"What a nice guy," Naruto said out loud, "Giving away all his candy away to little kids."

Stepping into the Hokage tower he grinned at the Anbu guards and walked in, making sure to stay inside the shadows

**T**sunade was having a good day. No guards in her room, lots of alcohol, no Shizune to give her more paper work. No Naruto to pop out of nowhere and scare her half to death…

Life was grand.

Tsunade glanced back and forth to see if her Anbu guards were near, watching, and/or listening.

She saw the coast was clear...

She tapped her fingers together and started singing, "I feel pretty, oh so pretty... I feel pretty and witty and bright! I feel pretty, and I pity, any girl who isn't me tonight!" She started humming the song while rocking back and forth in her chair.

She suddenly froze hearing a snickering coming from beside her.

"Oh, Tsunade, I never knew..." Naruto told her, stepping out of the shadows that hid him so well.

"Alright brat… What do you want?" Tsunade snarled at him, why did he have to constantly keep his aura suppressed? It was freaky when he did that.

"Eh ill think of it later on. My missions list?" Naruto asked and Tsunade gave him the paper.

"Thank you Tsunade-Nee-Chan." Naruto said and walked out the door, the Anbu glanced in to see a fuming Tsunade, then they quickly ducked out

"Why is it we always get stuck guarding the crazy ones?" Anbu one asked Anbu two

Anbu two shrugged his shoulders and leaned against the wall

"I don't even know why we are standing here anymore. Our lunch break was 10 minutes ago." Anbu two told Anbu one

"Oh! I totally forgot!" Anbu two grabbed Anbu one by the arm and dragged him down to the Café

**B**y the time Naruto arrived everybody was bored out of their minds. Itachi was stuck babysitting them because he decided he wanted to leave earlier.

"You're late AGAIN Sensei! Can't you come early just one day? ONE DAY IS ALL WE A-"

"Silence is golden, Duct tape is silver." Naruto interrupted Hanabi, and with a brief pause before continuing, "So take some silver and make my day golden, Hanabi." He smiled

'**Haha, that's rich! You got to write this shit down somewhere!**' Kyuubi laughed hysterically

'Oh I've already thought about that, mental notes are always the best when wanting to remember something'

'**So… That's what those notebooks are at the corner of my cage?'**

'Yep.'

Naruto cleared his throat, "First we are going to do some missions, and then we are going to train till we drop. Understand?"

The three students grumbled and sighed, "Yes Sensei"

Naruto sighed, "Back to D-Rank missions again…" he told his team, who automatically groaned with discomfort.

"M_ission one, Feed Oto-Kage his breakfast, side note from Tsunade, don't go near its mouth" _

_Naruto laughed, "Of course you never go near Oto's mouth whilst he's hungry! I could have told you guys that!"_

_Naruto laughed again, but was abruptly stopped by Hanabi's question, "And why didn't you tell us?"_

"_I forgot"_

"**HAHA RUN LITTLE PIGGY, RUN AWAY FROM THE BIG BAD WOLF! Err… dog… HAHAHAH RUN! FASTER OTO! FASTER! MAKE THE PIGGY SQUEAL, BITE HIS A-" **Kyuubi was abruptly stopped by a loud shriek of pain

"_Hmm… pocky… tassstesss like pocky… and pocky_…_. Yessss pocky…"_

"**God, that looks like it hurts, is that blood?"**

'Oh he'll be fine in a few hours.' Naruto told Oto and Kyuubi with a smile as he watched Oto chase around Ai

"_Mission two: Help paint Shiro's house." Naruto read from his missions list, Ai was too busy trying to soothe his butt to listen, "That can't be that hard."_

"Can I have a piece of Pocky?" Itachi asked Naruto, glancing hopefully at the smaller male who was eating some Pocky.

"No," Naruto replied, "If I give you a piece of Pocky, then you'll want more and more, until you manage to take all that is precious to me."

Itachi glared at the grass with dismay, he hated grass. "Stupid grass… stupid clouds... stupid trees... stupid Naruto..." Itachi muttered lowly enough so Naruto only heard a mummer even with his advanced hearing

"Hm?" Naruto asked his silent 'Did you say something?' question.

"Nothing..." he replied with a snarl

'Hmm... Itachi's skin is smooth... too smooth…Maybe its Maybelline.' Naruto thought idly as he just hung over in a bored manner, nibbling on his new obsession.

Hanabi stormed over, covered in brown paint, "Why aren't you two helping us!" Hanabi yelled.

Naruto screamed, "IT'S THE SHIT MONSTER! IT'S COME TO DEVOUR OUR MAGICALLY DELICIOUS SOULS!" He yelled loudly and pointed at Hanabi, before running away in fear, accidentally knocking Itachi over into some pink paint. Who paints their house brown and pink anyways?

"_Good news students! We have an S-rank mission!" Naruto told his students with a happy grin, "Really!" Hanabi yelled happily._

"_Yep!" Naruto told them, "What is it Sensei? Are we going to rescue a princess? Maybe a King?" Ai asked; his voice filled with anxiety._

"_Nope! Mission three: Feed Oto-Kage lunch!" there was a long silence_

Itachi raised an eyebrow at Naruto, "S-Rank mission, feeding a dog?" he asked with a humorous voice.

"Yep, apparently due to the number of missing persons, and injuries that came from completing the mission, Tsunade decided to bump it up to S-Ranked." Naruto told Itachi as he ate another stick of Pocky.

"Hey! Where is Hanabi?" Naruto asked the other two students, the looked at Oto

"_It wasssssn't me thisss time, sssshe just dissssappeared"_ Oto told him with a soft bark

"**You said that when that one Ninja went missing," **Kyuubi commented.

"_Mission… Uh I lost track, whatever number we are on: Find Hanabi"_

"_Why do we have to find her? She can find her way back home" Yuu asked and told._

"_She's not a cat, Yuu" Naruto commented_

"Hanabi… come down from the tree…"

A loud hissing noise followed

"_Next mission! Weed garden of..." Naruto told them, "Hmm, the last part has been scribbled out, directions are right here though... Suspicious much?"_

"We never speak of what has transpired here…" Naruto told his team with a serious expression.

Hanabi rocked herself back and forth, "So much blood, so much blood!" she chanted over and over again to herself.

"Do you think that was the daimyo's wives cat?" Yuu asked hopefully.

"_Next mission: Retrieve the daimyo's wives cat…" Naruto read from his list, "I guess that explains your question."_

"Come down… from the tree…" Naruto said slowly

"NO, DON'T JUMP! NOOOO! AHHH MY FACE, NOOO, GET IT OFF MEEEE!" Ai yelled, trying to get the cat off.

"Maybe this should be an S-Rank mission as well" Itachi commented, more to himself than others.

"_Good news everybody! We no longer have to feed Oto-Kage! Lee and his students have taken up the mission… God bless their little green hearts."_

"_Oh thank god!" Ai and Hanabi yelled with relief_

"_Don't get too comfortable, we have a new mission to replace the Oto missions, Next mission: Pick up trash by the Lake of Death, located next to the Forest of Death, and the Garden of Death which we had weeded earlier. Left from the Jolly green field of death"_

"_What is it with Konoha's obsession with the word 'Death'?" Itachi muttered to himself as he followed the others. Maybe he should have stayed with Akatsuki; at last they had cool names._

"I-Is that an arm?" Hanabi stuttered, Naruto walked up and poked it with a stick, "No, it's a leg" Naruto told her, staring intently at the leg, it looked familiar.

"Well, that explains the word 'death' in everything" Itachi muttered

"**Hey! It's that Ninja that Oto said just disappeared!"**

"Well what do you know, it is!" Naruto told himself happily, he was beginning to get paranoid about where Oto hid the body, and he didn't want to check the closet, due to the large green monster who kept popping out at random times.

There was the sound of dragging and they all glanced to their right… to see Oto-Kage dragging a large heavy bloody black bag near the lake…

Oto Paused

Naruto and the others stared

STARE…

STARE…

STARE…

'_Damn… I knew I ssshould have tried that old factory acrosssss the River of Death like Kyuubi told me'_ Oto-Kage thought, he turned around and started dragging the bag to the factory. '_You never ssssaw me, it'ssss only in your mindssss!'_ Oto barked and continued away

"_Bad news everybody, Lee has given up all Oto missions after an unfortunate accident, so we are back to feeding Oto!"_

"_Nooo_oooooooo!" All three students screamed.

Naruto cleared his throat, "Anyways, that's for tomorrow morning though. Now, start climbing those trees. Without your hands"

"How are we supposed to do that, Sensei?" Hanabi asked

"I don't know, you figure it out. God, what do I look like; a teacher?" Naruto snarled at them, but suddenly paused… "Oh wait… I am… My bad"

After explaining the wonders of Tree walking, they started. Hanabi made it up the tree first due to her low Chakra capacity.

"I CAN'T GET IT!" Ai screamed, Yuu ran down the tree with a snicker, "You're such a Dobe." Yuu laughed at him. Naruto's eyes flashed maliciously at the words, his canines extending

Yuu suddenly found himself slammed against the tree harshly, he let out a small whimper

"Don't you dare ever call him that again, just because he can't get up the tree does not mean he is a dead last. It simply means he has more Chakra then either you or Hanabi" Naruto released his student

Naruto glared at Hanabi and Ai, "Get the hell back to training, I don't remember me ever saying you can stop!" Naruto kicked Yuu and yelled for him to run up and down the tree non-stop until he said stop.

After about two hours Ai finally got it down and Yuu was about to die from exhaustion.

"You two can stop now," Naruto told Hanabi and Ai. "Go grab something to eat. Yuu, keep running and did I say you can slow down?" Naruto whipped a Kunai at Yuu, making him speed up.

"Don't you think you are taking it a bit too far?" Itachi asked, not that he cared anyways.

"No, he needs to learn. Or he'll die the first mission he gets out of the village." Naruto told Itachi, thinking about Sasuke. If Haku had been like any other, Sasuke would be long dead.

'**Hmmm…. This is some good shit in these note-books.**' Kyuubi muttered, completely oblivious to the outside world

Naruto rolled his eyes and stared blankly at Yuu, noticing him slowing down again, Yuu's cheeks were flushed a dark crimson and he was breathing heavily.

'**I think when we look deep into our hearts, we realize brutality is funny'** Kyuubi told Naruto with a smile

'Did you just quote my mental quote?' Naruto glowered

'**Umm… No…'** Naruto felt Kyuubi throw the book away from him. 'Whatever'

"Come Itachi, let us get something to eat. Continue how you are, Yuu, if you are gone when I get back, or if I find any signs that you have stopped, you WILL regret it"

Naruto grabbed Itachi by his wrist and walked away. Itachi shook his head sadly and followed

Naruto and Itachi decided to stop at the ramen stand, they saw Ai and Hanabi there eating. Naruto and Itachi sat next to them

"Where is Yuu?" Ai asked curiously "Still running" Naruto replied

"Oh."

They took their time eating before heading back to Yuu an hour later, only to find him unconscious on the ground

"Well, training is over." Naruto told them

They stood there wondering what to do about Yuu. Itachi walked away followed by Naruto.

Hanabi gazed at Yuu with a lustful look. Ai decided to pick up Yuu and bring him home. Who knows what Hanabi would do with him.

†††††

"_Oh Yuu!" Hanabi giggles, "Aren't you just so pretty?" she asked the hog-tied Yuu as she put more lipstick and blush on him._

†††††

Ai set Yuu down on his futon gently, gazing down at Yuu's face, he gently ran his finger across Yuu's face, training down his neck to his stomach, stopping mid-stomach. Yuu arched his back slightly and let out a small moan.

'I never really noticed how enchanting Yuu looks…' Ai thought as he brought his lips down upon his teammates and kissed him. He felt Yuu respond ever so slightly. Ai felt Yuu wrap his arms around his waist, pulling him closer.

Ai panicked when Yuu pulled him on top of him, wrapping his legs around his waist.

Yuu opened his eyes and glared at Ai, "What the hell do you think you are doing?"

Ai started stuttering, he pushed Yuu off of him and started running towards the door, only to be pounced on by Yuu and pinned to the ground, "Ill ask again" Yuu started, he dug his dull nails into Ai's shoulders, "What did you think you were doing, Hm?"

"I'm… I'm… I'M SORRY!" Ai yelped out and struggled, Yuu flipped him over so Ai was facing him.

"Well, whatever you thought you were doing, you were doing it wrong." Yuu told the now confused Ai and pressed his lips against his. Yuu softly slipped off Ai's shirt


	6. They're after me lucky charms

Naruto took out his tape recorder and glanced around his living-room, suspiciously searching for prying eyes and ears. He softly clicked on the tape recorder.

"I find myself rather bored these days with nothing to do… I've also recently created a new Technique… I call it… Secret Technique: Green Tea Leaves. I will most likely end up testing it upon my darling students tomorrow during training since today's training is done for the day… Unless I decide to throw in extra training, but we don't want to do that."

Naruto sighed to himself, "In other events, Oto-Kage needs some chew toys and more Shinobi are turning up missing lately. We might need to buy him a muzzle soon too, also, let us remember to ask the Hokage if she can hire some Genin to walk Oto… he has been restless lately…"

There was a long silence that penetrated threw the air, like a scalding butter knife through butter. Naruto clicked off the recorder after finding nothing else to say and placed it into his pocket. Why waste a notebook when you can use a Tape Recorder?

Naruto quickly clicked the recorder on, "Also, on second note: Some of Tsunade's Alcohol has gone missing accidentally on purpose" There was a loud knock on the door and Naruto clicked the recorder off and calmly walked to the door, not before yelling, "I'm coming! DON'T KNOCK DOWN MY DOOR, I JUST FIXED IT!"

Naruto muttered something about Kiba and how he's always knocking down the door; he absently wondered how Itachi was fairing with walking Oto-Kage. Walking Oto can't be too good for your health.

Naruto opened the door and peered out, only to gasp in shock.

"Oh no! It's the Akatsuki!" A stated from outside, the words dropping with sarcasm as somebody shoved their way into the apartment and walked in, that person was Kisame, followed by Deidara, Tobi, and… Pein…?

Naruto was confused; he clicked on his Tape Recorder, "Mental note for self, scratch out everything said today. New memo: I find myself having a strange day… Where the fuck is Itachi and Oto-Kage anyways?"

'_IT'SSSS MINE! YOU CAN'T HAVE IT!'_ Oto yelled as he raced after a squirrel, Akamaru closely speeding after him, their 'walkers' were being dragged behind them by their leash

'_III SAW IIIT FIIIRST!'_ Akamaru snarled at Oto-Kage, his rival.

†††††

Naruto shook the mental image out of his head, "Never mind, I don't really want to know." He spoke into the recorder then clicked it off.

Naruto walked into the living room where all of the criminals were sitting on his couch… HIS COUCH… He wondered again when Oto-Kage was coming home with Itachi again.

Naruto twiddled his thumbs, a habit he picked up from Hinata, "Um... Hi, I'm Kyuuto! Naruto's evil twin brother. Naruto isn't available at this moment, _nor will he be any other moment as long as you're_ _here_," Naruto whispered the last part to himself then continued, "So how may I help you?"

Deidara cleared his throat, "Tsunade told us to come here, Kyuuto-Kun, Un. Do you know when Naruto will be getting back? Un." Pein smacked his forehead at his underdogs stupidity.

Naruto's eyes darted back and forth; his trickery and deception has paid off! Now for the ultimate get away…

"Don't even try it boy" Pein told Naruto before he could jump through the closed window.

Naruto pouted, "I always wanted to try that too… You're ruining the moment…" Naruto muttered to Pein, who rolled his eyes. He was surrounded by children.

"Why don't you just sit down, Naruto, and step away from the window." It wasn't a question.

Naruto tapped his lips, pretending to give it much though before replying, "No, I'm good." Like he would do anything Pein told him to.

"WAIT!" A voice yelled out. It was Kisame. "I thought you said you were Kyuuto!" Kisame yelled and pointed.

"You're a liar! Liars go to hell! Un!" Deidara yelled

"YEAH WELL, SO DO PEOPLE WHO JUST BARGE INTO OTHER PEOPLES HOME WITHOUT BEING INVITED!" Naruto yelled back

Deidara started crying, "I CAN'T GO TO HELL! I'M TOO BEAUTIFUL AND YOUNG!"

"There, there, Deidara…" Pein said calmly and patted Deidara's back soothingly.

"Yeah well… Why are you even here anyways?" Naruto asked

"We decided to break away from the Akatsuki's leader and come here to live out our lives, so the Hokage told us we can live here with you and Itachi since we knew Itachi and all that, and because you are assigned to watch us like you watch Itachi." Pein spoke calmly

"But… you are the leader…" Naruto retorted with a point of the finger

"… Oh yeah! Ha-ha I was wondering why everything seemed so weird that we were doing this! Eh can't turn back now" Pein grinned sheepishly.

Naruto sweatdropped, "I'll make tea!" Naruto said happily, they nodded their heads. There was a silence and Naruto got a thoughtful look on his face.

"Are… you going to make tea…?" Tobi asked softly with confusion.

"Oh yeah!" Naruto started making hand signs "Secret Technique: Green Tea Leaves! Five." Naruto said with a burst of Chakra. Five steaming fresh cups of Green Tea appeared on the table; Naruto sat down and took a sip of his own cup of tea. The other four stared blankly at him.

"Well, drink it before it gets cold." Naruto said, and they did drink it.

20 minutes later the door was thrown open and Oto ran in trailed by a twitching Itachi.

"I'm not walking your dog again, Naruto." Itachi said blankly.

Naruto pouted, 'What did you do, Oto?' Naruto asked the dog with yips and barks, Oto simply grinned

'_Ran with Akamaru after squirrel, Kiba and Akamaru will be over later on today sssso we ssshould put a better lock on the door.'_ Oto said with a grinning face

'Now, now. What do you have against Akamaru?' Naruto asked Oto with a frown

'_Nothing at all… Akamaru ssstealsss my sssquirrelsss'_ Oto said with a growl

Naruto rolled his eyes. Dogs were so immature.

"Anyways… Ill ask Tsunade about hiring a Genin team for Oto, he's starting to get a bit chubby"

'_I'm not chubby! I'm beautiful and ssslender and… and…'_

'**CHUBBY!'** Kyuubi yelled with a laugh

'_SSSHUT UP! YOU KNOW WHAT? I MAY BE CHUBBY, BUT AT LEASSST I'M NOT FAT. YOU'RE FAT THOUGH, YOU FATTY FAT MCFATLE FOX!'_ Oto yelled back.

Kyuubi glowered and curled up in a ball inside his cage. He wasn't fat; his fur was just getting thicker.

"Whatever… Why are they here?" Itachi asked Naruto, he grabbed Naruto's tea and drank it.

"They decided to ditch the Akatsuki leader and came here to live out their lives in peace, Tsunade, being the drunkard she is, let them stay in the village and live here with us, then Pein remembered that he was the Leader and it was too late to turn back."

Itachi shook his head, 'Fucking weirdos' he thought to himself, "Aren't we supposed to meet the team?"

Naruto's face went blank, "I don't think so… Hmm…" Naruto checked his imaginary clock. "Yep, four hours ago." Everybody sweatdropped, Naruto stood up and headed out the door, followed by Deidara, Tobi, Pein, Kisame and Itachi.

†††††

Hanabi stared suspiciously at Ai and Yuu, they were acting weird… and Ai was blushing! Yuu was grinning smugly… Ai was limping?

IS THAT A HICKY? No… Couldn't be.

Why were they so close? IS THAT A HICKY ON YUU'S NECK TOO? No… It couldn't be… Hm… Everything seemed so weird today…

Was Ai wearing Yuu's clothing? No… couldn't be…

Yuu's staring at Ai again… Lustfully? No… couldn't be… must be something else… Hate? Yeah, that's it. Yuu only loved her.

Where was there Sensei? Why is everything so colorful…? Hanabi giggled and tilted her body to the side. Everything was like… Whoosh… and… and… colorful…

Colorful like rainbows…

'Mm… Lucky charms…' Hanabi drooled.

Hiashi had given her something to help her twitching this morning.

"Hey guys! Sorry I'm late I was… What's wrong with Hanabi…?" Naruto asked as he popped out of thin air, followed by Itachi and four other people.

"I don't know, she just showed up FIVE HOURS ago and was acting weird" Ai told him, he glances at Yuu then blushed when they caught eyes.

"YOU'LL NEVER GET ME LUCKY CHARMS!" Hanabi screamed loudly and pointed evilly at Pein, who sweatdropped.

Hanabi giggled and started rocking back and forth sideways.

"I want whatever she's got." Naruto said, calling dibs on the drugs… "Anyways… We have four new people I found in the streets randomly as I was walking early this morning at around 5 to meet up with you guys, which is why I'm late."

"Liar, you said we should stop and get ice-cream before coming, and before that you were at home talking into a tape recorder, Un" Deidara told him.

Hanabi giggled again and started spinning around in circles, her arms spread out wide, letting out a low squeal as she did so.

"Right… ice-cream… TREE WALKING TIME!" Naruto yelled and clapped his hands together then pointed to the trees that… randomly grew out of nowhere… and not from his fox powers either. They just did that sometimes.

The three of them headed for the trees and started walking up them, running back and forth.

The five 'adults' sat down and watched on with amusement.

Hanabi got to the top of the tree first, only to fall off with a loud 'WEEEEEEEEE' she landed in the bushes and all went silent

"You think your student is okay?" Pein asked as he stared at the motionless Hanabi

"Eh she's got a hard head, she'll be okay." Naruto replied

Suddenly Hanabi jumped out of the bushes with her hands up, "I'M OKAY!" She yelled giddily and ran back up the tree.

"See? Hard head."

Naruto clapped his hands together once, "OKAY STUDENTS, WE HAVE MISSIONS"

They groaned, Hanabi started drooling, "Mm strawberries… and cake… Strawberry cake… with ketchup on top…"

"Ewww…" Naruto spoke what was on everybody's mind

"_Alright… for our first mission… S-Ranked too!" Naruto said happily, the others were about to start crying, Akatsuki was clueless (Minus Itachi)_

"_Wow, S-Ranked to a Genin?" Pein was amazed._

"_Yep! You can do the mission since you are_ _new to this and all, yep, yep, yep" the others quickly agreed._

"_Okay, Un, what's the mission, un?" Deidara said happily._

"_Find the Daimyo's wife's cat!" Pein sweatdropped._

"_Tobi is allergic to cats, Tobi doesn't want something happening to him, so Tobi will sit this one out" __Tobi said. He really was allergic._

_Kisame, Deidara, and Pein had a sudden sense of impending doom._

Pein watched as his underdogs tried to get the cat out of a large tree…

"I think I've got it!" Kisame yelled, he grabbed the cat by its tail… and yanked it down…

There was a deadly silence as Kisame held the cat upside down by its tail…

The cat stared at Kisame

Kisame stared back with a gulp

"Why is it staring at me like that…? Why is it sniffing me…?" Kisame asked with a slight fear as the cat sniffed him.

'Uh oh' Naruto thought to himself and backed away

A scream echoed threw out the air, "ITS EATTING ME ALIIIIIVE!" Kisame screamed and ran around in circles chewing on Kisame's head.

Let's take a look at what was running threw the cats head while she was doing this

'_FISH, FISH, FISH, FISH, FISH, FISH, FISH, FISH, FISH, FISH, FISH, FISH, FISH, FISH, FISH, FISH, FISH, NO! IT'S BACON! CHEWY SCRUMPTIOUS BACON!"_

Pein pried the cat off of Kisame and started petting it, only to get bit.

"FINE! BE LIKE THAT!" Pein yelled and handed the cat to Deidara.

Deidara gulped. It doesn't like bird… does it?

The cat snuggled him.

'_Smell like bird. Like bird. Bird good, bird friend.'_

Deidara grinned and nuzzled the cat.

Kisame scowled, "I'm going back to the apartment!" he yelled and walked away.

_Naruto yawned, "Next mission: The guards have their day off at the gate, so Tsunade needs a team of Genin to watch the gate until they get back, so we will be taking up the rest of our day guarding the gate from destruction, chaos, and people who keep spraying silly string on the gates and spray painting it"_

Naruto sighed out of boredom.

Ai was sleeping on the ground, Yuu was sleeping next to him, Hanabi was staring at a blob of water on the road giggling, Itachi was playing a game of strip poker with Pein and Deidara, Tobi was…

Well, he didn't get what Tobi was doing, but it kind of looked like he was interrogating Tora, the Daimyo wife's cat… Only to be mauled.

"Look! There she is!" A voice yelled, Naruto looked to the side to see Konohamaru, Udon, and Moegi… And their sensei, Sakura. Man he felt bad for them. Naruto smirked and waves to the three kids.

"BOSS!" the three squealed and ran over to Naruto and hugged him.

Itachi, Pein, and Deidara stopped playing… Pein gave Deidara and Itachi their clothing back.

Tobi walked over with the cat safely tucked under his arms.

Konohamaru gasped, "You caught it!"

"Yep! Tobi caught the kitty because Tobi is a good boy! Right Deidara-Sempai?"

"…Sure, un. Can I get my boxers back, Pein?"

"No." was the clipped reply

"That's a bit weird, un…"

Tobi handed the cat to Konohamaru, who quickly passed it to Moegi, who quickly passed it to Udon, who… Threw it on Sakura… Who…

…Ran around in circles screaming bloody murder… Then pried the cat off and stuffed it in a book bag…

Sakura huffed, "Come on you three, we need to return Tora!"

"No way you hag! We're staying with boss for a bit"

Sakura growled and glared at Naruto with hatred. "Fine, but only for a few minutes"

There was a long silence and a dragged out meow from the bag

Hanabi giggled and poked at the puddle

"Hm… It didn't rain lately… OH!" Naruto giggled

That puddle suddenly felt a sense of sudden doom… And drawn out torture…

†††††

Naruto was having fun.

SPLASH, SPLASH, SPLASH.

Indeed he was; he randomly decided to jump around in the puddle, while everybody watched on with amusement. He suddenly stopped and stared at the puddle of water in front of him.

He took out an empty plastic bottle and made the puddle of water enter the bottle, after making sure everything single last bit of water was in the bottle, he closed it tightly and started shaking the bottle rapidly, an evil grin was plastered upon his delicate palely tanned face and he shook the bottle even faster

"What are you doing?" Hanabi asked, her giddiness was starting to ware off... She needed to pills again, and soon.

Naruto sniffed, "Torturing somebody" was his reply, he shook the bottle harder, muffled cries were coming from the bottle

"Stop being mean to the poor man, Naruto!" Sakura yelled

"Beat it hag, if boss wants to torture imaginary water people then let him."

Sakura snarled, "Are you stupid? That's a guy using a Technique to turn into a puddle of water! And Naruto is torturing the poor man/she/she-male!"

"ITACHI! CATCH!" Naruto yelled, ignoring Sakura.

Naruto threw the bottle to Itachi, who caught it and started shaking it, it was his favorite game when he was in the Akatsuki, he use to take trips to wave, wait for a Shinobi to use this Technique, then place them in small bottles and shake them. He loved every minute of it, and it seems Naruto did too.

Itachi shook harder; they could hear the muffled voice start to cry. He tossed the bottle to Pein, who started throwing it up into the air and catching it. Pein also played the game.

Sakura rolled her eyes and walked away, not wanting to be charged with murder, she dragged her students along with her. If only Sasuke were here, he would set them all straight.

'Stupid Naruto drove Sasuke away' Sakura thought with a snarl.

Pein tossed the bottle to Naruto, who had picked up a large stick. He hit the bottle to Itachi, who hit it to Pein, who had picked up a stick as well and hit it back to Naruto.

They did this for about an hour. Eventually they got tired and stopped, placing the sobbing bottle onto the table and sat down to rest.

"Haha, watch this!" Naruto lifted the bottle of water up and whipped it into the air. A vine popped up from the ground and grabbed the bottle, spinning it around in circles like a ride at a carnival… except faster and not a smooth.

"Haha, that's a good one, un, how do you do that, un?" Deidara laughed, the others watched on with strong amusement radiating from their aura's

"It's a secret" was the reply.

'**Haha! This is rich! Wait till I tell Oto about this!'**Kyuubi laughed to himself as he taped it with his camcorder from within his cage. Naruto had made it so he could look outside anytime, even if Naruto wasn't watching the same thing. It simply felt like he was floating in the air inside his cage, the outside world all around him… Then again, Naruto was pretty drunk when he created his newly found freedom.

Eventually the vine stopped and threw the bottle to Naruto, who caught it. Pein, Itachi, and Naruto started playing catch.

"You guy's are such sadists, un"

"You just don't know how to have fun" Itachi replied, Pein and Naruto nodded

†††††

"It's been six hours now, think we should stop?" Naruto asked the two, it was a fun game, but it got kind of bored after a while, the two nodded.

Naruto opened the bottle and spilled it on the ground, the puddle formed into a crying male, who was clutching himself and rocking back and forth, repeating, ''Kashi is a good boy' over and over again, like a broke record player.

"Ha-ha, hey Kakashi-Sensei! What's up?"

Kakashi cried harder

Naruto saw the guards returning and looked down at his list for the next mission.

"Get… Hokage a Taco…?" Naruto's mind when blank "Screw it."

Naruto kicked the three sleeping children awake and told them missions were over for the day, it was dark and Naruto needed to report to the Hokage.

Naruto told the new Gate Guards to check on Kakashi, and possibly take him to the hospital.

Sure, Kakashi will be mad once he stops crying, but he'll get over it.

†††††

"Sorry, I'm late! I got lost on the road of life!" Naruto chuckled nervously as he walked passed the two Anbu stationed at Tsunade's door and into her office

He was about an hour late.

He opened his mouth to tell Tsunade about the completed missions, but was pelted on the head with a... very heavy paperweight...

"YOU CRAZY HAG!" Naruto yelled

The Anbu winced when Naruto took another paperweight to the head, sending the boy sprawling...

"You... you threw something at me!" Naruto cries out, rubbing his skull

"Yeah, so what?" Tsunade snarled "YOU FORGOT MY TACO… AGAIN"

"I'M TELLING ON YOU!" Naruto screamed at Tsunade

"GO FOR IT BRAT! YOU HAVE NOBODY TO TELL!"

Naruto snarled back at Tsunade and pointed at a Rabbit masked Anbu

"YOU!" He yelled then pointed at Tsunade, "SHE HIT ME!"

The ANBU sweatdropped, "I... I'm sorry f-for your head, C-Captain N-Naruto-k-kun...?" The Rabbit ANBU stuttered

Naruto stared blankly, "Captain? OH! HI HINATA!" Naruto giggle and leaned forward, his smooth golden hair falling over his shoulders like a wave of silk.

The Rabbit Anbu identified as Hinata giggled slightly, "H-how are you, N-Naruto-kun?" she asked and twiddled her thumbs. Old habits die hard (Tehe... Habit... Rabbit... Habbit... HRABBIT! I made up a new word... YOU'RE ALL JUST JEALOUS!)

"I'm fine, Hinata-Chan! How are you and Kiba doing?" Naruto told and asked, completely forgetting about Tsunade and his problem

"W-we are fine, Naruto-kun. H-how is H-Hanabi doing? I... I heard s-she got HER ASS HANDED TO HER, BWA HA, HA, HA!" Hinata leaned forward and laughed as she recalled the memory of a Hyuuga servant running up to her to tell her that her 'loving' sister had fainted during her team meeting and was getting her wounds treated a few days ago, maybe weeks ago, she never paid attention to her sister.

"Oh um... That was an accident," Naruto grinned sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck lightly, recalling the Kunai.

"Eh who cares," Hinata said, her stuttering going away, she waved her hand slightly and grinned from behind her mask

"Speaking of my team... I think I was supposed to meet them... Oh wait, no, I just got rid of them... never mind." Naruto giggled at his momentary loss of memory

Hinata's partner, who wore a Sloth mask, just shook his head sadly, while Hinata giggled.

"Well, anyways..." Naruto started as he stood up and faced towards Tsunade, "Some missions complete," Tsunade growled at him and whipped another paperweight at him...

Naruto grinned as he ducked the paperweight, "Where do you get those?" He asked curiously

"I don't know," Tsunade said, "I just want to throw one and they suddenly appear in my hand."

"Oh, well..." Naruto cleared his throat, "See you later, old hag!"

Naruto ran out and the Anbu guards watched a paperweight trail after him before the paperweight hit the wall where he had turned.

"Captain Naruto certainly can run fast." the first Anbu guard (Hinata) commented.

"That he can." her unknown Sloth masked partner nodded.

"Damn brat, better not come back again without my Taco." they heard Tsunade mutter.

They both sweat-dropped...

Tsunade sighed and she measured a stack of papers upon her desk with a bright yellow tape measure, "It's groooooowing."

The Sloth Anbu snickered, leaning to the side as a paperweight flew past him, lodging itself in the wall.


	7. They'll get over it

**Disclaimer**: BWA HA HA HA HA! YOU ARE NO MATCH FOR MY EVILNESS!

Naruto yawned and clicked on his tape recorder, "Dear me, I've recently found out that you can drown a fly and revive it by pouring salt on it... It was actually kinda cool when I found that out, you see I was randomly walking down the street when a fly smacked into me! I didn't like how it told me it was my fault so I dunked it into a lake and decided to randomly throw salt on top of it.."

Naruto paused, "IT WAS SO KEWL!" he giggled to himself and clicked off his tape recorder, walking into the kitchen where everybody was passed out after drinking a shit load of alcohol randomly after his meeting with Tsunade yesterday. He told them not to, honestly!

"_WOOOH. LET'S GET DRUNK!" Naruto yelled throwing his hands up into the air. Itachi just stared at him. "Do you think that's a good idea?" Kisame asked with a twiddle of his thumbs._

"_Don't be such a pussy, Kisame." Naruto told him, crossing his arms._

I mean, it wasn't his fault that they bribed him into a drinking contest either!

_Naruto sniffed, gulping down another large cup of beer, Pein tried to keep up with him with no luck._

"_Man, youuu guyzh shluck!" Naruto yelled as he finished, Deidara had long since passed out and Kisame was probably suffering from alcohol poisoning at this very moment. Itachi was currently running around the house naked, yelling, "CLOTHING CAN NOT HIDE MY BEAUTY!" and Tobi was rocking back and forth hysterically screaming about magic pink bunnies trying to eat his soul._

It also wasn't his fault that they were now currently suffering brain damage and were probably not going to remember anything they said last night.

_Pein sobbed on Naruto's shoulder loudly, his orange eyes bloodshot and his nose runny, "I BE TO TRY NIIIICE TO PEEEOPLEEEE" Pein sobbed again, "BUT NOOO MATTER WHAT I DOOO, PEOPLE POINT AT ME, AND CALL ME LITTLE KILLERRRRRR!"_

_Pein let out a loud wail and buried his face into Naruto's black shirt, "THEY HAAATE MEEE!!!" Naruto patted Pein's back, "There, there, I'm sure they don't hate you!" Pein sniffled, "You think so?" he asked, wiping the tears from his eyes._

"_Of course, Pein! No matter what happens, they all love you deep down!" Naruto told Pein with a pat on his back, Pein sobbed again, "THEN WHY DO THEY THROW STUFF AT MEEEEEE!!!!" Pein sobbed, running out of the room, only to slam into the still naked Itachi. Both passed out at collision._

Naruto sniffed. Good thing he recorded them all with his tape recorder, and a hidden camera for future blackmail, but he wasn't really at fault, was he? He wasn't the one telling them to drink last night!

"_DRINK, DRINK, DRINK, DRINK, DRINK!" Naruto yelled as the members of the Akatsuki forced down their 6th shot glasses of whiskey each. Deidara couldn't take no more and fell to the ground with a loud thud, hitting the table as he did so, making multiple half full cans and bottles fall to the ground, alcohol spilling all over the carpet._

Okay. So it was all his fault. Big whoop, they'll get over it.

Naruto kicked a beer can to the side before grabbing a full can of beer and opening it. He absently took a sip before walking out the door to meet his team. Who cares if the Akatsuki would be mad for him leaving them helpless and lying on the floor with so many people wanting them dead.

Big whoop, they'll get over it. It's not the end of the world if they lose a few limbs.

'**Oh god...**' Kyuubi moaned, his paw pressed against his forehead, '**Did anybody get the license plate number on the bus that hit me?'** Kyuubi whined softly.

"Get over it." Naruto muttered to Kyuubi, taking a sip of his beer. Times like this made Naruto glad he had a demon locked inside of him. He got the drunken effects, Kyuubi got the hangover and the alcohol poisoning.

Naruto giggled and took a sip of his beer.

'**Is... Is that alcohol?**' Kyuubi asked suspiciously.

"Huh? Nooooo, it's not alcohol" Naruto grinned widely, taking a large swig of the beer

'**YOU DIRTY LITTLE LIAR!'** Kyuubi shrieked, his shriek quickly turned into a sob as his headache came back full force.

'**Why do you torment meee?'** Kyuubi whined

"Would you like a straw?"

Kyuubi sniffed, **'A straw?'**

"So you can suck it the fuck up"

It didn't take long for Naruto to get to the training grounds where his students awaited, they stared at him in shock as he actually, for once, turned up on time, exactly 5 in the morning.

He had a reason for being late all the time!

Honestly, he did.

And even though his apartment building was a 5 minute straight line to the training ground, it was possible that sometimes, all the time, he would end up getting lost and taking a wrong turn!

Shit happens.

Naruto drank the rest of his beer, then threw the empty can, much to the still sobbing Kyuubi's relief, onto the ground, "Listen up kiddies, the Akatsuki had decided to stupidly raid my fridge, and drink all my beer without my permission, so they're not going to join us due to killer hangovers, and alcohol poisoning."

"_HEY, NARUTO!" Pein called from the kitchen, "WHERE DID YOU SAY THE ALCOHOL WAS AGAIN?"_

_Naruto grinned to himself, "I hid it in the cabinet, with a cooling Jutsu so Tsunade doesn't steal it all, and so it'll stay cold." Naruto called back to Pein, who, 10 minutes later, walked back with multiple cases, that Naruto had stolen from Tsunade._

Okay, so he raided Tsunade's stash, got the Akatsuki drunk using the same alcohol he had accidentally stolen from Tsunade, accidentally of course, and was planning on blaming the entire incident on said Akatsuki, who won't even be able to count backwards from 2 to 1 when they wake up.

"Mind you, that they first stole the beer from Tsunade, then raided it from my fridge without my permission." he added.

They'll get over it.

It's not like the Akatsuki will remember anything that happened anyways...

... Maybe he should have taken advantage of Itachi and Pein while they were unconscious...

Oh well, there's always next time

"Oh yes, they also stole Shizune's weed, and with me being a perfect angel, I tried to stop them, but couldn't"

_Naruto took a few puffs from the pipe he'd also stolen from Shizune, blowing the smoke out through his nose with a giggle, and passing the pipe and lighter to Kisame, who repeated the action and passed it to Itachi, and so on._

"_Where did you get this stuff anyways?" Pein asked Naruto, who smirked, "Oh you know... here and there," Naruto told them and grinned, the pipe was passed back to him by Pein._

"Those poor dears really have some problems... Anyways..." Naruto said, staring down at his nails, "Let's head off to the Hokage's office, so we can pick up our missions list, and get this over with." and so they did

-

-

-

"Dear lord..." Pein sobbed, his palms pressed firmly against his temples, he had woken up about 2 minutes ago, and felt like he fell down a cliff and landed head first into a shallow river, where he has drown and was now in hell.

What did he do to deserve this?

"_Are you sure we should be doing this, Naruto?" Pein asked as he opened his first can of beer._

_Naruto snorted, "Of course, what could go wrong?"_

Apparently a lot of things.


	8. Use the door!

**Disclaimer:** I am a tree... -Eats an apple-

"Oh woe is me!" Naruto said to himself, running his fingers through his golden, and silky, hair. He stared down blankly at his missions list. Thankfully it was short and easily manageable. Once Tsunade had found out the Akatsuki stole her alcohol, she immediately set out to make them pay. Which was why they were currently being gathered up to be sent off to that one interrogator dude. What was his name? You know, the one with the scars and stuff, and little kids cry at the mare mention of his name?

"**It's Ibiki!"** Kyuubi yelled at him. His human was so forgetful sometimes.

"That's it! IT'S IBIKI!" Naruto screamed the last part out loud to himself, causing his students to start screaming that Ibiki was in he vicinity, with caused a chain reaction of screaming and mass-panic. Which eventually led to the injury on 23 people, who were run over by a screaming and crying stampede of civilians and Shinobi alike.

Kyuubi watched on with glee as the streets ran red.

'_Wow, you're sssadissstic_' Oto commented to Kyuubi, who was watching the panic as well.

"**Where did you come from?**" Kyuubi asked suspiciously, eying the large dog.

'_I don't know. I wasss chasssing that mutated pink blob, and POOF. I wasss sssuddenly here. No warning at all'_ Oto retorted in a equally suspicious way. He just knew Kyuubi was the cause of these sudden appearances and disappearances. He just didn't have the proof yet.

Kyuubi caught the suspicious undertone and glared at the dog.

Naruto looked around curiously, "Why is everybody crying?" he asked Kyuubi, who simply shrugged. "**I don't know. They just suddenly went crazy.**"

"Oh. Okay" Naruto looked back down at his list, his students were cowering under a large rock.

"Mission One: _Baby sit the Ms. Benibana's 4 year old twins..." Naruto blunk. That couldn't be too hard!_

_His students suddenly shivered, rubbing their arms before glancing at one another._

Hitsuji, the eldest of the twins by 3 minutes smiled innocently at her tied up vict- babysitters

"Can... Can you untie us now?" Hanabi asked fearfully. Ai and Yuu wisely kept their mouths shut.

"What's the magic word?"

"Please?" Hanabi asked, making her two team mates winch.

SMACK.

"Ow!" Hanabi sobbed as Chinmoku, the youngest of the two, smacked Hanabi across the face with a dirty sock.

"I'll ask again. Where have you hidden the Sorcerer's Stone?" Hitsuji asked with a snarl.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Hanabi shrieked.

SMACK

"Ahhh!"

"Tell us now, Harry Potter, or I'll stuff a coin up your nose!" Chinmoku shouted smacking Hanabi across the face with the smelly purple sock again.

"My name isn't Harry Potter! It's Hanabi!" Hanabi sobbed

"YOUR POLYJUICE CAN NOT FOOL US, HARRY POTTER! CHINMOKU, SHOVE A COIN UP HIS NOSE!"

Naruto giggled as he watched, munching on a stick of pocky.

"**That looks like it hurts.**" Kyuubi commented as he watched the younger twin shove three dimes up Hanabi's nose.

Oto's eyes were wide as he watched the scene in horror.

"Now then." Hitsuji looked towards Ai and Yuu

"Tell us where the stone is, Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley. Or suffer the same fate!" The two male Shinobi wisely pointed at Hanabi, who Chinmoku has smacked once again with a sock.

"_Next mission: Help paint the Children of the Corn, Orphanage... Next to the Corn Field of Death... That's not suspicious, nope, nope." Naruto hummed and started walking to the Orphanage, his students dragging them selves along behind him miserably._

"Mister, Mister!" A little 6 year old boy tugged on Naruto's sleeve trying to catch his attention. Naruto looked down at him and smiled, "Something wrong?" he asked.

"Timmy's trapped in a well!" The little boy sobbed slightly, before pointing at a small well across from the orphanage they were currently painting. You can faintly hear screaming coming from it.

"What do I look like? A dog?"

"_Next mission... Skipping that... Skipping that one too... Ohhh, another babysitting mission. Let's do that!" Naruto told his students with a grin. Hanabi burst out into tears._

"It rubs the lotion on its skin. It does this whenever it is told." Hitsuji told Hanabi, who was sitting at the bottom of a well.

"Please let me out!" Hanabi yelled up the well. Chinmoku growled and sprayed Hanabi with a hose.

"It rubs the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again!"

Hanabi sniffled, "This isn't even lotion!"

Chinmoku sprayed her with the hose again.

_Naruto grinned at his Students, "Well, that's the last mission for today. Yo__u're free to go!" His students cried with_ _ha_ppiness and darted away as quick as they could.

Naruto whistled to himself and walked to Tsunade's office, deciding to take a shortcut.

Tsunade glared at the shaking Pein, Itachi, Deidara, Tobi, and Kisame, darkly.

"I trust your time with Ibiki taught you not to steal alcohol from a Hokage?" She asked them before pouring herself a shot of whiskey and gulping it down.

The remaining Akatsuki members simply nodded and stared down at the ground. They didn't know what was going on, but they hurt too much to think about it.

"If you do it again," Tsunade pointed to the window next to her, "Ibiki will come crashing through that window with a chainsaw."

Tsunade went to dismiss them, when a sudden crash came from the window she just pointed at. Glass shattering everywhere, making Tsunade duck. The Akatsuki screamed with fear, thinking it was Ibiki, the stench of urine suddenly penetrating the room as Kisame fainted.

"NEJI?" Tsunade yelled, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING GOING THROUGH MY WINDOW LIKE THAT? ARE YOU INSANE? DO I NEED TO SHOVE A BROKEN WHISKEY BOTTLE UP YOUR ASS FOR THAT? HM? ANSWER ME B-"

There was another crash and another person came through the window, more glass shattering everywhere. The remaining Akatsuki members screamed again.

"NARUTO. DAMNIT, WHY DIDN'T YOU GO THROUGH THE WINDOW THAT NEJI ALREADY BROKE? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO BREAK ANOTHER WINDOW?"

"There was another window?" Naruto asked with a clueless voice.

"YES THERE'S ANOTHER WINDOW!"

"Oh, I'll be sure to go through that one next time then."

"I DON'T WANT YOU GOING THROUGH THAT WINDOW!"

"Then what window do you want me to go through!"

"I WANT YOU TWO TO USE THE DOOR LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE!"

Neji and Naruto snorted.

CRASH

"STOP BREAKING MY WINDOWS!"

"What? Oh, wrong window. My bad."

CRASH

"WHY DID YOU JUST BREAK ANOTHER WINDOW?"

"I told you I had the wrong window."

CRASH

"Hey, hey, what's up, Kakashi!"

"Hey, Naruto, Neji, Kiba, totally-not-suspicious Akatsuki"

CRASH

"THE POWER OF YOUTH COMPELLS YOU!"

THUMP

"Ouch!" a voice came from outside, "Who put this wall here?" there was another loud crash and Sakura came walking in, rubbing her large forehead.

Tsunade slammed her head on her desk, making her papers fall onto the ground and scatter everywhere

CRASH

"Hey... Where did Ibiki go? I could've sworn he was right behind me." Anko asked

There was a knock on the door.

There was dead silence

"...Come in..."

Ibiki opened the door and walked in gracefully, looking rather smug.

"See, Anko, I told you I still knew how to use a door"

†††††

**FFTI**: You're fucked! -Wacks at a fly- YOUR NUMBERS COUNT FOR NOOOOTHIIIING! -WACK WACK WACK- YOU CAN NOT DEFEAT ME, FLY! FEEL THE WRATH OF MY BUTCHER KNIFE!


	9. Voodoo

Naruto sat on his couch playing with a doll, Itachi and Pein watched him curiously.

"What is that?" Pein asked Naruto, who stopped stopped flying the doll around making airplane noises. The doll was filled with needles on its arms and legs.

"It's a doll." Naruto responded

"What kind of doll?" Deidara, who walked into the living room with Kisame and Tobi, inquired.

"A Voodoo Doll" Naruto rolled his eyes. Did they honestly think he'd play with a child's doll?

"Who's the Voodoo Doll of?" Tobi asked curiously

"Hyuuga, Hanabi." Naruto smirked widely

"Where'd you get a Hanabi-Voodoo Doll!" Kisame asked with a bit of fear. What if he had a Voodoo doll of him!

"Eovin gave it to our employer, Weasel, who gave it to me to use for the beginning of this scene."

"Who, who, and what?" they asked in a confused voice. Maybe Naruto really was insane.

"God, you guys are clueless." Naruto rolled his eyes again, before holding the doll up high and spinning it around in circles.

†††††

"Hm..." Hiashi stated as he watched Hanabi fly up into th air, spinning around. "What do you take of it?" he asked his healer, Iyasu.

"Sharp pains in the arms and legs, taking flight without warning, delusions of drowning at random times. Drowsiness, throwing up..." Iyasu paused as Hanabi dropped to the ground and ran around in circles, screaming that she was on fire.

"Stop, drop, and roll, Hanabi" Hiashi told her absently.

Hanabi came to a sudden stop and threw herself onto the ground, rolling around.

"I'M STILL ON FIRE! I'M STILL ON FIRE!" Hanabi yelled, she grabbed the fire extinguisher and sprayed herself down.

"Delusions of being lit aflame" Iyasu continued, "delusions of a giant demonic fox trying to use her as a chew toy..."

"Well? What do you suggest we do?"

"I suggest you shut up and let me finish, or else your next prostate exam won't be a prostate exam."

Hiashi shrunk away

"Now where was I... Delusions that demonic animals are trying to eat her... Sudden horrible smells, that nobody else can smell..."

†††††

Kisame farted in the dolls face again

"Hahaha! Do it again, do it again!"

†††††

"AHHHH THE SMELL, THE SMEEELLLL OF BUUURNING RUBBER AND ROTTING FISH" Hanabi screamed, trying to cover her nose, but it was still there

I told you, you shouldn't have given her those pills."

"Are you saying this is my fault?"

"I'm just saying you shouldn't have given her those pills."

"They weren't even real! I just gave her mints and told her they were pills."

"Oh... Well... I'll prescribe something for her to take then."

"FISH ARE EATTING MEEEE! GURGLE GURGLE GURGLE!"

"I'll go prescribe her something heavy."

"You do that." Hiashi stated flatly.

†††††

Naruto dropped the voodoo doll in his fish tank, watching as the small piranha nip at it.

"I'm bored now. Let's go get some ice-cream." Naruto stated boredly, walking out of his apartment. The others followed without another glance at the voodoo-doll.

†††††

Tsunade sat at her desk sorting through her papers boredly, she really needed to find somebody to do her paper work.

"Bills." Tsunade said, placing the paper in a different pile for Shizune later.

"Bills."

"Bills."

"Hm... Buy The incredible pet nail trimmer today."

"Hurry...Replica Watches for sale HERE!...Save 15% today"

"Bills."

There was a loud thump coming from her window and she giggled. Good thing she installed those heavy duty shatter-proof, bullet-proof, weather-proof, crazy-ninja-who-doesn't-know-how-to-use-a-door-poof windows.

After a few more thumps everything went silent.

There was a knock on the door.

"Come in." Tsunade called out, trying to balance her pen on her nose.

Kakashi walked in, "Hokage-Sama." he started with a small pause, "Your windows are broken."

Tsunade rolled her eyes.

There was another thump and a muffled yell that sounded a lot like, "'Y NOSE! 'S BROK'N!"

"See?" Kakashi crossed his arms.

†††††

The Akatsuki and Naruto sat in an ice cream shop eating the delicious frozen treat, when suddenly, Sakura walked into the shop with her students.

"Damn straight, women, best get us some ice cream. I'll smack you, hoe." Konohamaru muttered and sat down next to Naruto, followed by his two team mates.

Naruto scooted away and growled. Nobody would touch his ice-cream!

"Chill out, Naruto, I'm not trying to steal your ice-cream... What chu waitin' for, Hag, grab up some ice-cream before I bitch slap you!" Konohamaru yelled at the part at Sakura, who huffed and walked off to buy her students ice-cream.

Naruto swiftly stuffed the rest of his ice-cream into his mouth, glaring at everybody around him. He swallowed. Everybody stared at him.

"Mine." He snarled, shrinking back into his seat with a deep-throated growl.

"What are you, a dog?" Moegi rolled her eyes

Naruto sniffed in an arrogant sort of way, but before he could reply, Sakura came back and handed her students their ice-cream cones and sat down next to Pein, who scooted away from her.

Which caused Itachi to scoot away from him, Deidara to scoot away from Itachi, Tobi to scoot away from Deidara, and Kisame to fall off the edge of the bench, almost dropping his ice-cream on the ground.

Luckily he saved it.

Kisame lay on the ground, licking at his fish flavored ice cream.

Konohamaru stared at his ice-cream cone then glared at Sakura, "Bitch! I told you to get me a banana split!" he yelled at her.

Sakura glares, "You didn't tell me anything! You just told me to get you some ice cream!"

"Well, I'm telling you now, hag! Go grab me a banana split, and make it snappy!"

Sakura stood up and growled, walking away to get a banana split.

"That's right, hoe." Konohamaru muttered under his breath, licking his ice-cream cone

†††††

_Pein was running._

_Why was he running?_

_There was a monster chasing him. It was large and has razor sharp teeth, 19 inch blade-like talons, gleaming in the non-existent light. It was plump with acid green 'skin', dripping with purple frosting._

_It was..._

_It was..._

_A Demonic Muffin._

_Pein screamed as he felt the Muffin pick him up. The Muffin laughed darkly and held Pein over it's gaping bladed jaws._

"_Revenge is sweet!" The muffin told told him, laughing louder_

"_AND SO WILL YOUR BLOOD BE AS WELL!"_

_Pein cried out as the wicked Muffin dropped him into it's mouth, those large carnivorous teeth gleefully taunting him._

_Pein fell out of his bed with a loud shriek_

"NOOO DON'T EAT ME!" He screamed loudly, rolling over and off of his bed.

Seconds after the loud scream, the others came barging into his room. Pein sat upon the ground snuffling, wiping at his terror filled eyes.

"Um... Are you okay?" Naruto asked, he shifted from one foot to the other, feeling rather uncomfortable at the moment.

"A giant muffin was trying to eat me as revenge for all of its fallen children." Pein cried.

A cricket chirped from outside the window.

Oto walked into the room...

Chirp. Chirp.

Chirp...

Ch-

A Prey Mantis who was stealthily sneaking up behind the chirping cricket, grabbed it from behind before taking a large bite out of its head.

Naruto yawned, "Okay then."

They all filed out from Pein's room, but before Naruto could turn around and leave, Pein grabbed him around his waist and pulled the demon container close to him.

"Stay please?" Pein whined, burying his face into Naruto's stomach.

Naruto blushed slightly, missing Itachi's dark scowl.


	10. Do not anger the sakura!

The Akatsuki sat around a table, they were all dressed in Tsunade's clothing. Tobi had a bra on top of his head while everybody else wore one over 'their' kimonos. Each Kimono was brightly colored with multicolored flowers plastered on them.

Strangely enough, Sasori, Kakuzu, Hidan and Zetsu were there as well.

Deidara has his hair up in curls, he held a bright pink umbrella against his right shoulder – his lips painted a bright green.

Pein held a purple umbrella, though, he lightly twirled it around above him – his lips were painted black

Sasori was dressed similar to Deidara, but whereas Deidara's kimono was green, his kimono, as well as his lipstick, was lavender.

Itachi wore a baby blue kimono's and held pink umbrellas – his lips were painted bright red.

Tobi, Hidan, and Kakuzu were dressed exactly the same. They wore bright red kimono's and held yellow umbrellas, well, Hidan didn't hold an umbrella, because he has his scythe – Tobi had his mask on still, as did Kakuzu. Hidan wore silver lipstick, with a hint of blue.

Kisame wore a gray kimono with a purple umbrella – his lips were painted red

Zetsu wore a yellow kimono, his black and white face painted lavender and teal, he didn't hold an umbrella.

Naruto wore a teal kimono, his lips painted orange, his hold golden hair tied up with red ribbons into pig tails – his hair was curled like Deidara's – and held a pink umbrella

They all wore heavy bright makeup.

"Would you like another glass of tea, Pein?" Naruto asked

"Why yes, Naruto, that would be lovely" Pein smiled as Naruto poured him another glass of tea.

"Would anybody care for another cookie?" Deidara asked, holding out a plate of chocolate chip cookies.

They all each grabbed a cookie, dipping it in their tea before taking a bite.

Kisame dabbed his face with a napkin, "Cookies are delicious, my dear." He told Deidara

"Why thank you, Ol' Chap. I made them myself!" Deidara grinned.

"You always did cook the best cookies." Itachi told Deidara. He went to take another bite of his cookie when the door slammed opened.

"Naruto! I forgot to give you your new missio-"

There was an awkward silence.

"Um... Hey Tsunade..." Naruto coughed, setting down his umbrella.

Tsunade opened her mouth to say something, but the words caught in her throat, making her look like a fish on land, trying to say something.

"A... are those my new kimono's?" She asked, her eyes wide

"Um... n- no, why would we... why would we be wearing your kimono's? Th-that's skilly!... I mean silly!" Pein stuttered. Naruto looked away, taking a long sip of his tea, everybody else shrunk away, trying to disappear with results.

"Um..."

There was another awkward silence...

"Y-you said you had a new mission list f-for us?" Naruto attempted a shaky grin.

"Um... r-right..." Tsunade handed the missions list to Naruto, her eyes scanning everybody over, making them shrink away shift uncomfortably.

"So... um... why are they here?" Tsunade asked, glancing at the previously missing Akatsuki members, wondering where Konan was.

"Um.. we just... decided to join the rest of um... the group..." Kakuzu twiddled his thumbs, his umbrella lying next to him.

"R- right... I'll... just ... just..." Tsunade's mind went blank for a moment, "Um... w... um... reinstate you as... Konoha ninjas?"

"Y...yeah... that'd be nice..."

"Um.. you'll be staying with Naruto and the rest..?"

"I guess..." Kakuzu shifted his eyes, lifting his glass of green tea up and taking a sip.

"I... I'll um... just be getting back to work now... Heh..." Tsunade moved towards the door, stepping outside, pausing before she closed the door behind her.

"Um... you can keep the kimono's..." She muttered closing the door.

There was another awkward silence

"Well!" Tobi grinned, "How about some muffins?"

"That would be perfect!" Pein grinned

"More tea anybody?"

†††††

Tsunade stepped out from the large building housing Naruto and the Akatsuki with an awkward look plastered upon her face, her cheek slightly red with embarrassment.

"That was just plain weird..." She muttered to herself.

†††††

Three hours later found the Akatsuki, Naruto, Yuu, Ai, and Hanabi, gathered around as Naruto read the missions list.

"So... first mission of the da_y... Oh dear lord...not them again!"_

_They all looked at Naruto, "What's wrong?" Yuu asked_

_Hanabi gazed at the ground, "Blahrgblu blah blusm braw vroom vroom zoooom" She told them_

_There was an awkward silence_

"Well, well, well. If it isn't the famous ghost child, Danny Phantom, and his two little friends, Sam and... Chinmoku, what was the other one called?"

"According to Google, his name was Tucker"

"Ahh, yes... Tucker, tucker, tucker..."

Hanabi giggled "I'm tucker-tucker-tucker"

"No!" Hitsuji whacked Hanabi across the face, "You're Sam, wench!"

"My, what a dirty mouth this kid has" Pein muttered, examining his nails. Itachi was leaning against his right side sleeping, Naruto against his left side watching the twins 'play' with his students. Deidara and Sasori were curled up on the couch, Tobi had his head resting in Naruto's lap, his eyes semi-closed. Kisame was in the kitchen with Hidan cooking lunch for everybody, Kakuzu was playing a game of cards with Zetsu.

"Shut up, _Potter_, or else you're next!"

Pein glowered at the two twins, "I'd like to see you try, brat" he snarled, his orange eyes darkening.

The twins gulped and turned back to Danny, Sam, and Tucker.

"How does it feel, Ghost Child, to be helpless at my feet?"

There was a long pause

"Say your line!" Chinmoku kicked Yuu in the ribs

"Ouch"

"No! Not that line!" Chinmoku kicked again, making Yuu's eyes water

"Y-you'll never get away with this, Vlad!"

"I beg to differ, Daniel" 'Vlad' smirked.

"Skulker!" 'Vlad turned to Chinmoku/Skulker

"Yes, sir?" 'Skulker asked

"Bring me the tazer."

"I don't want to play this game anymore" 'Daniel' whined pitifully, 'Tucker' tried hiding himself behind the couch while 'Sam' rocked herself back and forth, drooling.

'Vlad' chuckled darkly, "Oh, Daniel, I'll have you and Maddie by my side yet"

'Skulker' walked back into the living room/secret lab and handed 'Vlad' the high powered Taser.

"Now beg me for mercy, Daniel _Fenton_." 'Vlad' spit after saying 'Fenton'

'Vlad' clicked the taser on and moves forward towards 'Daniel'

_Naruto marked off their first mission with a black marker, moving down to the next_

"_Second mission... Hm... actually, that babysitting mission was the only one we had." Naruto folded the list and stuck it in his pocket._

"_So I guess_ we're free to train until tomorrow." he muttered

Naruto clapped his hands together. "Alright, kids. Daniel and Tucker will spar, Sam will spar the winner."

"My name is Yuu" 'Daniel' snarled, 'Tucker' nodded in agreement, stating that his name was 'Ai'

"Whatever your names are. Begin."

Yuu and Ai walked off to spar, 'Sam' skipping along behind them.

"You know what's weird?" Naruto asked the Akatsuki, they all looked towards him.

"Hm?"

"I woke up this morning and Pein and Itachi were in my bed" Everybody looked towards the two, Tobi glared from behind his mask.

"Um... I can explain?" Pein grinned sheepishly, Itachi just looked away with a 'hmph'

"Well, explain then."

An hour later of Pein explaining that be woke up from a nightmare and wanted Naruto to stay with him, but Naruto had refused and went to his own room, but Pein was still scared and snuck into Naruto's room, followed by Itachi – who didn't trust Pein alone with Naruto.

Said simple explanation took an hour to explain because Pein kept it drawn on with a lot of detail that Weasel is too lazy to type out.

Another hour found them at the ice cream shop... again...

Who won the spar between Yuu and Ai?

Yuu did.

Who won the spar between Yuu and Hanabi?

Hanabi did because Yuu refused to go near her after she blew a shot missile at him

Naruto licked his chocolate ice-cream cone with boredom, his eyes shifting between Itachi, Pein, and a still glaring at Itachi and Pein – Tobi.

Sakura sat in a corner scowling while Konohamaru, Moegi, and Udon ate their fifth ice cream cones

"You shouldn't scowl so much, Sensei." Moegi told Sakura, "It's bad for your health and complexion. No wonder you're so ugly, with all that scowling you do."

Sakura's scowl deepened

"See? There you go again."

"Careful, Moegi." Naruto started, "It might bite you if you get too close"

"NOBODY ASKED YOU, NARUTO!" Sakura yelled, showing her teeth like a dog.

"You're just jealous because my boobs are bigger than your – and I don't even have any."

Sakura let out a shriek of fury

"I HATE YOU NARUTO!" Sakura screamed

"Translation: HULK SMASH!" Naruto mocked


	11. The Necro, the Druggie, and the drug

"You're never gonna catch me!" A little voice yelled, just as a tiny ginger bread cookie ran across the ground.

"Run, run, as fast as you can! You can't catch me I'm the ging-" The Ginger Bread Man was cut off

"Oh! A cookie!" Naruto squealed with delight, swiping it from the ground as it ran past and stuffing it into his mouth. There was muffled screaming of agony and terror before it was abruptly silenced after a few chews and a swallow.

"Mmmm. Frosting just poured out of it with each bite!" Naruto chirped, he raised his heels and stood upon his toes for a few seconds before dropping back onto the ground.

His students stared at him with wide eyes.

"You would have done the same thing if you were me" Naruto crosses his arms, "Now, let's get back to our missions." he scowled at them, pulling out the mission list and scanning through it.

"Hm... Strange..." Naruto hummed, his eyes scanning the list again.

"...?" His students stared at him questioningly

"Very strange..." Naruto said after a long awkward silence.

"What's wrong?" Ai asked, twiddling his thumbs.

"We're not even supposed to be working today... And it's 2 in the morning."

Ai and Yuu sweatdropped.

There was a long awkward silence.

Hanabi farted.

"There goes those ducks again." Naruto commented, walking home, fulling intending on getting back to sleep

†††††

"No grandpa... grandma tell grandpa to stop swimming in my ramen.." Naruto muttered as he rolled over in his sleep, completely clueless of the three pairs of eyes watching him sleep. Two pairs black, one pair orange.

"No Sasuke... give me back my cheesy poofs..." Naruto whined in his sleep, "nooo don't put them in the couch..."

The three watchers sweatdropped.

"noooo that's not lipstick..."

The sweatdrops got bigger.

"Stop eating my pet worms Itachi..."

There was a silence...

Two of the watchers giggle

"NOOOO! TSUNADE! YOUR BOOBS ARE TRYING TO EAT MEEE!" Naruto shrieked in his sleep, making them all jump

There was a semi-strangled snore

Naruto drooled

After that there was a very long silence, the three watchers glanced at each other.

"What do you think he dreams about?" Pein asked, tilting his head to the side

Tobi and Itachi simply shrugged

"..." Naruto mumbled

"Why are we even in here?" Tobi asked suspiciously

Itachi and Pein simply shrugged and they all skipped out the room together holding hands.

**Morning – Breakfast**

Naruto stuffed a piece of Sushi, Oto sat next to his right, and Tobi to his left. Left to Tobi was Pein and next to Oto was Itachi.

Next to Itachi was Kisame

Next to Pein was Kakuzu

Next to Kisame was Hidan

Next to Kakuzu was Deidara

Next to Hidan was Sasori

Next to Deidara was Zetsu

At the very end of the table was a stuffed animal.

Next to the stuffed animal was Sasori.

Who sat across from Zetsu.

Who sat next to Deidara

Who sat across Hidan

Who sat next to Kisame

Who sat across from Kakuzu

Who sat next to Pein

Who sat across from Itachi

Who sat next to Oto

Who was currently stealing things from Naruto's plate.

Who was currently stealing things from Tobi's plate

Who was currently stealing things from Pein's plate

Who was currently stealing things from Kakuzu's plate

Who was currently stealing things from Deidara's plate

Who was currently stealing things from Zetsu's plate

Who was trying to steal from the stuffed animals plate, but only succeeded in getting bit

Zetsu, in revenge, ate the stuffed animal.

Leaving Zetsu sitting next to nobody to his left

Also leaving Sasori to sit next to nobody to his right.

Since Hidan sat at his left.

And Deidara set at Zetsu's right.

And since now that end of the table was empty... once again.

Sasori sniffed and stared blankly at Zetsu, who had one of the teddy bears arms sticking out from his mouth as he chewed, slowing dragging said arm into his mouth to be devoured as well.

"That's just wrong, man"

"Wike wu wernt dinkin ov dowin da shame ding." came Zetsu's muffled voice

"Touché" Sasori arched his eyebrow and retorted.

**Five hours later**

"You're late, Naruto-Sensei!" Snarled Ai.

Yuu ran his finger down Ai's back, causing Ai to shriek and jumps away, blushing heavily.

Hanabi, in a fright of panic at the shriek, started screaming about mechanical blue mice trying to eat her brains.

"Well" Naruto started, ignoring the two lovers, and the druggie.

"I was on my way here, when suddenly I ran into Sasori here doing a puppet show" Naruto pointed at Sasori, "I thought it would be nice to watch, since nobody else paid any mind to him, when suddenly a giant man eating Venus fly-trap with two split persona's came out of nowhere and started eating Sasori!"

"So naturally I had to help him, so I ran to the store and bought some weed kill, and drown Zetsu in it, ending his life, but it was already too late for Sasori, for his head had been bitten off and swallowed by the giant weed!"

"But then I got to thinking, 'I wonder what would happen if I smoke said weed?' so I tried it, and that's where I met a druggie named Hidan, and his cheating lover Kakuzu – I say cheating because we, after smoking the giant joint we made from the weed from earlier, we walked past an alley way and found Kakuzu making out this this fishy character: Sasori – who we has previous thought dead after getting his head bitten off by a giant Marijuana plant."

"So naturally, Hidan got all up in Sasori's face, which caused Sasori to retaliate by pushing Hidan, which caused him to fall backwards onto the ground, and land on a knife that was ironically there for no reason (cough cough)"

"Kakuzu, in a panic of woe at the death of his lover – who was ironically cheating on him with Zetsu – attacked Sasori – who was already supposed to be dead for cheating on Zetsu with Hidan – causing him to crash into the alley way wall – say that 10 times fast – and crack his skull open, and in so, killing him from the blow."

"After the death of both is lovers, Kakuzu committed suicide. Then there's me, who felt so bad about everyones death; Decided to join a clan of necromancers and learn their trade so I could bring them back to life!"

"So, after hours of trying to learn the necromancer trade secrets, I gave up and decided to let them rot in the ground, because they really weren't worth it."

"So I came straight here"

There was an awkward silence, Ai opened his mouth to speak, but was abruptly cut off.

"But on my way here, I ran into Pein, Tobi, Itachi, Kisame, and Deidara, and told them my sob story. Ironically Sasori, who was also a lover of Deidara, who was a lover of Hidan, who was a lover of Kakuzu, who was a lover of Sasori, who was a loser of Zetsu, who despite whatever I said earlier, had no other lover."

"Anyways, as I was saying; Tobi apparently knows how to raise the dead, and decided to give Kakuzu, Hidan, Sasori, and Zetsu another chance at life."

"So after unkilling, I don't think that's actually a word, but it sounds okay, everybody, Pein stupidly asks them to join us. So now we're stuck with these losers" Naruto pointed his thumb towards the now salty new comers.

"That made absolutely no sense whatsoever, Sensei" Yuu stated.

"YEAH WELL, THAT'S WHY NOBODY ASKED FOR YOUR OPINION – God why you always trippin' on my style" Naruto sulked

Hanabi stuffed a toad, that she randomly caught, into her mouth and swallowed it

"Anyways. We have a big mission today"

Everybody perked up

"You guys are going to paint the Hokage Tower with these tooth brushes-" Naruto pointed to a pile of tooth brushes "while Tsunade and I watch on in amusement"

"No." Pein said, crossing his arms

**Hokage Tower – 10 minutes later**

"God damn it" Pein snarled, dipping the used pink tooth brush into a bucket of white paint and painstakingly smearing it onto the wall.

Hanabi stuffed her toothbrush up her nose and dipped her hands into the paint, bringing the paint covered hands to her mouth and licking the paint off of her fingers.

Hanabi giggled and smeared the paint over her face, rocking back and forth.

Naruto, Tsunade, Hinata, Sloth Anbu – Hinata's partner – and strangely enough, a monkey dressed in a banana suit, all watched on with amusement

Naruto took a sip of his wine, "I seriously want whatever she's got" he commented

Hinata grinned slyly at Naruto and pulled a bottle of bright red pills from her jacket, secretly slipping it into Naruto's pocket without him knowing.

Her Sloth partner shook his head sadly and sighed.


	12. Petstores and Anbu

After the trio had finished painting the Hokage tower – with tooth brushes mild you – Deidara had decided... he wanted a pet.

"Hey. I saw that typo there!" Deidara snarled, "How dare you called me a she!"

"What are you going on about?" The Puppeteer of the group asked, for the slow minded people, it was Sasori.

"I don't know, I saw a typo in the script where it says 'decided... he' Weasel had written 'she'! IT WAS ON PURPOSE I TELL YOU!"

"See? Deidara knows they're their too" Naruto chirped just as they walked into the pet store.

"Uh... Whatever... Just... Pick out a pet, Deidara" Sasori retorted

"'Kay!" Deidara yelled, running to the birds

"Oh god, I hope ...he's not going to get a bird." Pein muttered

"HEY! I SAW THAT TYPO TOO!" Deidara yelled.

Naruto walked over to the puppies with Oto, who appeared out of nowhere like always.

'**I hope you're planning on getting a new dog, kit'** Kyuubi smirked

'_Nobody asssked you, you... you... THING!' _Oto snarled at the Great Demon, causing said Demon to burst out laughing

'**HAHAHA! THING? IS THAT ALL YOU CAN COME UP WITH?'**

'_Ssshut up, turd!'_

**'HAHAHA TURD!'**

'_I SSSAID SSSHUT UP, OR ELSSSE!'_

'**Ohhh, I'm sooo scared!'** Kyuubi clutched at his heart, giving a mocking frightened gasp

'_Hrmph, you better be, fattie' _Oto scowled, oblivious to the sarcasm

'**HEY! I ALREADY TOLD YOU! MY FUR IS THICK!'**

'_Sssure it is, fat-asssss' _ Oto laughed

The Demon's eyes watered, '**STOP CALLING ME FAT!' **Kyuubi sobbed

'_Lossse sssome weight then, Fatty Fat McChubby!'_

'**At least I don't slur and draw out my s'es!'**

Oto was silent.

'**HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW!'**

Naruto rolled his eyes and picked up a kitten, "I want a Kitty!" Naruto squealed

'_NO/_**_NO'_** Oto and Kyuubi yelled at the same time

_**Back with Deidara**_

"I want this, and this, and this!" Deidara pointed out the animals as he ran passed, "I don't know what that is, but I want that too!" He grinned, pointing at a Skunk

"That's a Skunk, and no, you're not getting a skunk, or a cheetah, or a wolf, or a Porcupine"

"Then what can I get?" Deidara pouted, he... his eyes watering...

"HEY. STOP WITH THE TYPOS!"

The Puppeteer simply pointed towards the fish

"Wha..."

_**With Pein, Itachi, and Tobi**_

"I... Want a Weasel..." Itachi muttered, picking up a small Weasel from its cage

"Hey, you can't pick up the animals!... And how did you get that cage open!" A worker for the pet store told and asked

"Nobody cares what you want."

_**With Ai, Yuu, and Hanabi**_

"Where'd everybody go?" Ai asked, looking around the large pet store

"I imagine to look around" Yuu told him, watching Hanabi stuff a canary into her mouth

"HEY! NO EATTING THE BIRDS!" A worker for the pet store yelled

"Nobody cares what you want"

_**With Kisame, Kakuzu, Hidan, and Zetsu**_

"Why are we waiting outside?" Hidan asked

"Because Zetsu was banned from all pet stores for trying to eat everything. Kisame was banned for trying to free all the fish. I was banned for arson"

"Oh..." Hidan muttered, twiddling his thumbs

There was an awkward silence

"Why am I waiting with you guys then?" Hidan muttered, walking into the store

"HEY. NO LARGE WEAPONS IN THE STORE!" A worker for the pet-store yelled, pointing at Hidan's scythe.

"Nobody cares what you want" was his reply as he walked down all isle

_**At the check out**_

"What did you decide on?" Naruto asked, placing the kitten down on the counter, much to Kyuubi's and Oto's dismay

"Sasori said I can only get a fish" Deidara said, placing the tied water-filled bag with a Beta fish in it on the counter next to Naruto's kitten

The kitten eyed the fish

The worker at the pet store shook his head as he watched the ninja trio walk out, soon followed by a man who bought a Weasel and the scythe carrying weirdo who bought a little white mouse

"God, I need a new job" he muttered.

_**With Hanabi**_

Hanabi giggled and opened all the cages, "BE FREE MY FURRY AND FEATHERY FRIENDS!" She yelled

"HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU CAN'T LET THOSE ANIMALS OUT THE C-" The poor worker was attacked by an angry mob of bunnies

Hanabi quickly followed after the others

_**With the others**_

Naruto watched Hanabi run up, a canary sitting on her head. His students were so weird.

"So. Let's all head off at home, and meet up there at 8:30 sharp – Tomorrow"

They all split up and headed to their rightful homes – 'cept Ai went with Yuu to an unknown place to do unknown things

Once the Akatsuki and Naruto had gotten home, they split up. Naruto was with Deidara and Kisame in the living room. Itachi was in the Kitchen with Pein and Tobi, the rest headed off to their rooms

"It's so small..." Deidara said, looking at his new pet fish, Same.

"That's what she said!" Naruto chuckled, petting his new kitten Maou. He cracked himself up sometimes.

"Oh shut up, Naruto" Kisame muttered

"You think it'll grow bigger soon?" Deidara asked, tapping the side of the fish bowl

Naruto grinned widely, "I'm sure your fish will grow bigger, but I doubt anything else of yours will grow bigger!" Naruto laughed loudly at Deidara

"Oh snap, bitch! BURN!" Itachi said, having just walked into the room and heard the question and the retort, followed by the cackling Tobi and Pein

Deidara twitched.

Sometimes, he hated living here.

There was a knock on the door

"Who is it?" Naruto asked the door

There was a silence, "It's Tsunade and-" Tsunade was cut off "AND HINATA AND HER PARTNER" Hinata yelled

"What's the secret password

There was a sigh

"Oonga boonga"

"'Kay, you can come in" Naruto grinned as they came in

"Naruto, we have to tal-"

"I DIDN'T DO IT!" Naruto shrieked, cutting Tsunade off, and causing everybody to stare

"Didn't do what?" Tsunade asked, with an arching of her eyebrow

"I don't know, but whatever it was, I didn't do it" came the oblivious reply.

"Um... Okay..." Tsunade blinked

"... What did you want to say?"

"... I don't remember..."

"Why are you still here then?"

The Sloth Anbu scowled behind his mask

"Tsunade has a mission for you and the Akatsuki." The Sloth Anbu stated, taking off his mask

"HOLY SHIT! NEJI?" Hanabi yelled, pointing at her cousin

"... Yeah..."

"Since when did you become Sloth?"

"I've always been Sloth"

"I thought you were Hawk!"

"No. Kakashi is the Hawk"

"No, Kakashi is the Dog Anbu"

"No. Shikamaru is the Dog Anbu"

"... Why is Shikamaru a Dog?"

"Because Kiba is a Deer"

"Then who the hell is the Cheetah Anbu?"

"That's Shino"

"No way! Shino is the Butterfly!"

"No. Ino is the Butterfly"

"When did Ino become an Anbu!"

"When Choji and Tenten became Anbu"

"What the hell are they?"

"Choji is the Cupcake Anbu-" Neji was cut off

"Figured Choji would pick a Cupcake" Hanabi muttered

"..Ahem, as I was saying. Choji is the cupcake-" Neji was cut off again

"You already said Choji was a cupcake" Naruto chirped cheekily

"I KNOW I ALREADY SAID IT, STOP INTE-" Neji was cut off again

"Keep your voice down, Sloth" Tsunade crossed her arms

"SIGH... And Tent-"

"That Sigh was too loud"

"..." - Neji

"..." - Tsunade

"..." - Hanabi

"..." - Naruto

"Meow" Maou meowed, the tiny black kitten rubbing her cheek against Naruto's arm

"Tenten is t-" Neji was cut off again

"AWWW. When did you get a Kitten!" Hanabi and Tsunade squealed

'_Ssstupid kitten isss taking up all the attention...'_ Oto muttered

"We stopped at the pet store. I got a Kitten – her name is Maou – Deidara got a fish – His name is Same – Itachi got a Weasel – her name is Itachi the Second, or Itaond for short – and Hidan got a mouse – his name is Ansatsusha. And Hanabi stole a Canary"

"Oh..."

"Can I PLEASE finish?" Neji asked, putting his Sloth mask back on

"Yeah. Sure. Go ahead" Hanabi muttered, petting the purring Maoi

"And Tenten is the Gazelle Anbu"

"Why a Gazelle?"

"... How the hell should I know?"

"Why the hell do we have such weird Anbu masks?" Tsunade asked herself out loud

"I'm a fox!" Naruto grinned

'**No. I'M a Fox, you're just... oh wait, you are a fox demon now'**

"NOBODY ASKED FOR YOUR INPUT KYUUBI!" Naruto yelled, scaring everybody in the room

'**YEAH WELL – YO MOMMA'**

Naruto gasped

'_Hey... That'sss mean...'_

'**SHUT UP MR. WANNABEASNAKERE-RE'**

Oto sulked

Hanabi cleared her throat, "Who's the Snake Anbu?"

"That's that crazy bitch Anko"

Somebody crashed in through the window

"HOW DARE YOU CALL ME A CRAZY BITCH!" The Snake Anbu who just crashed in through the window yelled

"Why is everything so random?" Naruto scratched his head

_**With Hanabi**_

Hiashi watched his daughter play with her new Canary - Hae

How the hell did his daughter get a Canary?

Oh well.

Shit happens

"Hanabi, did you take your pills yet?"

"The green ones?"

"No, the blue ones"

"The pink ones?"

"No! The BLUE ones!"

"Gray?"

"BLUE!"

"Purple"

"BLUE!"

"BLUE?"

"BLUE!"

"BLUE!"

"GLUE!"

"FLUE!"

"MLUE!"

"What?"

"What..?"

"The blue ones?"

"Yes, the blue pulls"

"What pulls?"

"I meant Pills."

"You said Pulls though"

"IT WAS A TYPI!"

"Don't you mean Typo?"

"YES! A TYPO! GOD, JUST TAKE YOUR PILLS WOMAN!"

"You're a woman!"

"I'M A MAN!"

"YOU HAVE MAN BOOBIES!"

"I DO NOT, AND EVEN IF I DID, THEY'D BE BIGGER THAN YOU FLATIES!"

Hanabi gasped

"I'M TELLING ON YOU!"

"YOU'VE NOBODY TO TELL!"

"I'M TELLONG YOU'RE MOMMY!"

"MY MOMMY IS DEAD!"

Gasp

"GRANDMA DIED?"

"Oh damn, I knew I was forgetting something."

†††††

Maou – Satan

Same – Shark

Hae – Fly

Ansatsusha – Assassin

Itaond – **Ita**chi the Sec**ond**


	13. Not An Update

Greetings to the fine folk that moderate our site.

Myself, along with many, have been writing and posting on your fine site for years now, some of the better examples of up and coming writers out there are now suddenly finding some of the stories we've come to love at risk of being removed without the chance to even rectify our errors.

For some, that means the permanent loss of a story. While I don't have anything that I believe violates your terms of use, there are those out there that are never able to recover a story in its original form, this is something I find to be almost worthy of a legal action, as while we cannot claim ownership of a character, the stories are OURS and simply destroying them is something that is inexcusable.

It's quite easy to simply add an MA rating, additional filters or even a simple requirement for a free membership to read the stories presented here, and would cut down on hateful anonymous reviews and posts at the same time, so I have to question as to why such a thing, in all this time, simply wasn't added.

If you're worried about falsification of a registration then have an appropriate disclaimer and then there can be no dispute, you took your steps and the PARENTS didn't monitor their children, if that is even your concern. If it is more of a personal view or desire then please at least let people know and give them a chance to remove a story that you and yours find offensive, most people on the site are actually rather cordial when it comes to such requests.

While I cannot say for sure if this letter will even reach those that may be willing to listen, of if it's more akin to a wide spectrum purge in preparation for something bigger, please understand that you are going to be losing a LARGE number of your writers, and thus your income from a lack of readers if there is not some level of action taken to help with this situation.

For those that may agree with this, please feel free to sign on and send this to the support server, maybe we can get some movement on this.

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K-9 dracon867 Moka Mcdowell VGZ Oirarana Nightmares Around Winter chuck17 Son Of A Wolf Daniel Lynx Sibjisibdi sleepwhenyourdead1989 BackwardsHazard Hunter200007 Zagger the Bloody Angel Zen Rinnegan Duochanfan alice the noble Zagger the Bloody Angel BRD man nano101 ShotgunWilly EternalKnight219 deadak Idiote AkumaKami64 loki0191 konoha's Nightmare zrodethwing ursineus KamenRiderNexus neko-hikage-chan Project Slepnir Narora Senoku spider79 ZloGlaZ Erebus of the Banat belnonm Tristan Blackheart Xefix dbzsotrum9 Anake14 FangamerBowiextreme JoieCullen MonChardonneret Star of the Morning Light Feel Free To Improvise


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